Miss World
by LylaGallagher
Summary: No evil plots against the wizarding world.Lily wants to be rockstar, she the Hogwarts outcast,abused and broken.James,popular badboy,hates her and the feeling is mutual until he falls for her rebellious nature and wicked way with words.lilyjames
1. Morning Rain

Miss World

_My name is Lily Evans. My muggle best friend from L.A. told me to start a diary so he can make fun of me when I get back next summer. Why the hell not right? It'll give us something to do when we get bored. If you are reading this, I was probably too shit-faced to remember about it and by all means read at my expense. If you're confused right now, that's okay. Hell I don't even know what's going on half the time and it's my life. Well, I'm sixteen years old and I'm a witch. Yeah, yeah if that confuses you then you're a muggle. Just pass this off as a stupid stoner's fantasy and you'll be all right. As I was saying I am a witch, I go to Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry. It's a boarding school somewhere in Scotland. I spend my summers in California with my mother and her bastard husband. I spend my holiday breaks in London with my father and his stupid trophy wife. My older sister is long gone, somewhere in the UK. But whatever my family life is a whole other fucked up story that I'll put on paper later. I'm in my sixth year; I was made a prefect last year, which is kind of like a model student. How? I have no fucking clue. Most of the time I'm here I'm too spun out to realize what's going on. I don't have many friends here. Everyone here seems all too fake and cheery. With the exception of the Slytherins whom I get along with despite my bloodline. Most of the time I spend writing music and learning how to play an instrument of some sorts. I'm in Gryffindor, all of my housemates hate me and the feeling is mutual with the exception of Remus Lupin, he and I got to know each other enough to become acquaintances during our patrolling because he is the other prefect for my house. He's a Marauder though. Those assholes have made my life here a living hell ever since day one. They don't know me though; I'd like to keep it that way. They don't know that during summer I spend my time practicing illegal spells in Los Angeles with Erick because the Legal magic age in America is 12. They don't know that I've experimented with almost every drug there is and that I can hold my liquor better than most guys, strictly through experience. They don't know the things I've done or anything out of the ordinary stereotype that they have me under. Erick is my only friend that I would die for. Truly the boy is like my brother. Even though he is a muggle he still is interested in Magic. He understands me and I understand him. If he wasn't gay I'm sure we'd be, married already. Hahah well I must be off, breakfast is going to end soon and I need a hit before I head of to class. Until later. _

_Lily_

Lily opened the scarlet coverings around her bed and noticed her dorm mates frantically caking on make up and doing their hair.

'Looks like they missed breakfast too' she thought laughing at the way they resembled rabid dogs.

She took her little red book to the end of her bed where her trunk sat. Mumbling a few spells she opened her trunk tossed it in on top of her clothes and took out a tiny bottle filled with white powder. Straitening up she noticed one of her dorm mates staring at her.

"What was that? Your diary?" Pricilla asked smirking. The self-tanned girl was rather pretty but her bottle blond hair and orange skin took away from that. Not that boys cared really, she had a perfect body and no mind. She was any teenage asshole's dream.

"None of your fucking business" Lily replied slamming her trunk shut and muttering a few locking spells she knew that they would never be able to break. She had learned her lesson to keep all of her belongings locked away when the marauders, with help from her dorm mates, had taken all of her things and permanently charmed them to the walls of the great hall. She used to have a weight problem when she was younger and to have all of her fat clothes and underclothes exposed to the school like that wasn't too fun.

Sighing she walked into the bathroom she slammed the door behind her and ran to the nearest sink.

Opening her fairy dust bottle she took the small scoop that was attached to the cap and brought it to her nose. Snorting the white powder she felt the familiar feeling of lightheadedness followed with a rush. Taking another snort she caped her bottle and let it hang around her neck. Shoving it in her top she looked in the mirror. Wiping her nose she checked her make-up. Black eye shadow, mascara and Chap Stick. Her porcelain skin was flawless and her emerald eyes sparkled from the contrast of the black makeup. Her hair was strait and down as usual. Her natural blood red hair glowed against her black bangs that were complimented by black streaks that framed her face.

She didn't know who did her hair, she had woken up one day over summer with her new hair, she remembered going through the process but she didn't know who did it. It saddened her because she really would have liked to thank them

Walking out she noticed that her dorm mates stopped talking all at once. She raised her eyebrow at them.

"Oh please, don't stop talking shite on my account" she said in a mock polite voice. Sweeping past them she glared and grabbed her book bag heading out of the door.

Bounding down the stairs she hummed the tune she had been working on last night. Her band in London was booking some gigs during her holiday break. They had a few shows over summer and now they were really getting into the groove of things. She was excited and couldn't wait for holiday break, even though she would have to stay with her father and his wife, she still thought it was worth it.

Walking down the corridor she followed the route to her charms class. She was a natural at charms. She loved it, she also loved potions but that was because she liked to learn about poisons.

Walking through the door, she took her usual seat near the back. The only reason she was ever acknowledged was because of her abilities. She took out her wand and some parchment laying it on her desk before situating herself so she could look out the window.

Slowly the class started to fill, the marauders bounded in being their loud obnoxious selves. James Potter had his arm around a blond Hufflepuff who looked like she had been told Christmas had come early. Sirius Black was flirting madly with a Ravenclaw girl with pigtails and practically had his hand up her skirt. Remus Lupin was laughing with one of her dorm mates who looked like she might pounce him right there. Peter Pettigrew was eating, as usual.

Suddenly Professor Flitwick had emerged from his office and nearly hurt himself standing on his pile of books. He announced their Lesson and lily scoffed. She had mastered that charm over summer. Taking her parchment she began to write down words that matched the tune in her head.

I'd like to be somebody else and not know where I've been

Id like to build myself a house out of plactecine ….

I've been driving in my car with my friend Mr. Soft

Mr. clean and Mr. Ben are living in my Loft….

Trying to think of something else she looked over her words, they made no sense.

'Whatever' she thought, she racked her brain for another verse when her ink bottle suddenly exploded all over her parchment and spraying her with a few drops of the black liquid. She heard laughing and looked over to see the Marauders and their whores laughing at her. Without thinking she took her wand and levitated all of the inkbottles in the class and summoned them over their heads out of their reach. Before they could comprehend what happened she exploded all of them. Letting the ink shower over the once laughing crowd.

Crumpling her parchment she threw it at a glaring Sirius black and flipped them off before grabbing her things and walking out of the classroom.

"Where did Miss Evans go?" Flitwick asked slightly startled when he realized his favorite student had disappeared.

"Oh my what happened to you?" He asked in a concerned voice when he noticed the angry students covered in ink.

Walking through the chilly fall weather, Lily took out a cigarette and lit it with her wand. Walking around the quidditch pitch she took long drags out of her cigarette as she blew them out into the rushing wind.

"Crap I still have an hour before my next class" she said out loud to herself. Sitting down in the grass she took another long drag. Closing her eyes she let herself fall back.

Dream: 

**Lily walked down the oh so familiar street in Westwood. Coming upon her stepfather's house, lily walked through the open front door. There sitting in the parlor was her mother. The brown haired woman was sipping from a glass cup full of ice and liquor. Lily observed the woman closely. There was no life behind those dull blue eyes. Suddenly a shriek broke the heavy silence of the room. It was followed by many more screams and Lily instantly recognized her sister's voice. **

**"Mum!" she shouted trying to get her mother's attention. The woman just kept on sipping. **

**"Mum Petunias in trouble! We have to go help her!" Lily practically screamed**

**"GET OUT OF HERE YOU LITTLE WENCH! This is all your fault. Everything is your fault! You ruin everything you little scumbag. Well your not going to ruin my life anymore. Go away. Die for all I care. You are not my child," the bony lady screamed at Lily. **

**Lily ran out of the room before the woman could touch her she ran through the dining room where she saw her father and his wife chatting happily over the morning news. **

**"DAD! Help petunia! Something's wrong with her come on!" lily yelled at the two. Her dad turned to her. His face instantly rearranging. **

**"Now lily don't go off making excuses to get attention. Its not very honorable and I will not let my daughter turn into that sort of person" he finished and turned back to the woman sitting beside him and started to fondle her. **

**Lily felt as though she was going to be sick. She heard another screech and she instantly shot through the door. Running to through the kitchen she saw something that made her stop and stare. **

**There she was …a fifteen-year-old girl losing her innocence to a 20-year-old man who she barely knew. Lily watched what had happened only last year. She hardly recognized the innocent girl when she saw her. The man was working to pleasure himself, using lily's body as a tool. As the man started to cum, lily ran to the next room. Disgust draping her features. **

**She was in anther room she recognized from when she was younger. Before the divorce. There the chubby little redhead sat coloring as usual. Trying to ignore the shouting that was attacking her. Lily covered her ears, the shouting was getting worse. She left through the pink door into a hallway. She heard another yell from petunia and she ran up the stairs. She stopped dead however when she saw her best friend lying on the stairs looking dead. **

**Erick was beaten up pretty badly; his golden tan skin was covered in bruises and dried blood. He peaked open one of his soft brown eyes. **

**"They'll never accept us Lily, they refuse to understand," he whispered. **

**"I know luv" she replied reaching out only to have him roll off of the staircase and disappear. **

**"Erick" she cried and the only response she received was another shriek from petunia. **

**Lily crept to her sister's door. It was left a crack open. She saw movement on the bed and she could tell her sister was writhing beneath the larger body above her. Lily was about to grab the door handle when it shot open revealing her stepfather in a rage filled glory. He kicked her but she felt no pain. Getting off the floor lily brought out her wand only to have it aimed at no one. **

**She ran to her sister who was left in her bloody pajamas. **

**"Im sorry Lily but I have to leave you. I can't stay" was all petunia said before vanishing. **

Lily woke up with a gasp. She never could get rid of that stupid dream. She shuddered and took out another cigarette. Taking along drag lily shivered in remembrance of the dream. It wasn't so much a dream as a long list of the worst moment of her life.

Lily sighed and looked at her watch.

"Fuck" She said throwing her cigarette on the ground. Grabbing her bag she shot off toward the castle. She was going to be late for potions.

Taking her usual seat next to Severus Snape and Lucius Malfoy she caught her breath drooped her bag next to her desk. She had gotten along with the Slytherins ever since she snuck into a 7th year Slytherin Party and helped them get in too. Second year was one of her craziest years at Hogwarts. Ever since then the boys had been there for her when she needed them, they were like her stupid older brothers.

"Why are you so out of breath?" Lucius asked in his usual cocky sneer.

"Because… marauders … charms… ink explosion… quidditch pitch… cigarettes…" she said through breaths. Lucius looked at Severus, who was staring at Bellatrix Black's hair. Shaking his head at his two classmates he turned to look at Professor Slughorn, who had just walked in.

"Good Morning class, today we shall be learning to make…" Lucius droned him out while he scratched down the notes onto his parchment.

"pssst, do you have any of that potion left?" Lily asked Severus breaking his staring contest with the back of Bellatrix's head.

"Um… yeah" He said blushing at Lily's knowing look while he scrambled to bring out the small bottle of black liquid. He handed it to Lily and She swiftly downed it in one shot. He watched her closely. Her pupils widened and her skin slowly paled to a translucent pearl color. A wicked smile painted her lips as she gave him thumbs up.

He took out a small black book and marked something off. He took the small container out of her hand and put it back in his bag. He, Lily and Lucius were always making new things up. It was like Russian roulette, they never knew what it could do, but none of them cared. Most of the time they just ended up making various liquids with drug like affects. They had mastered the entire potions book for their year and were currently working on the seventh year advanced one. Lily even managed to make a new cure for a cough, which she always got due to her smoking habit.

Lily was in Heaven. The smooth lack liquid had a sweet taste that snaked down her throat. Her mind went fuzzy and she giggled a bit. She never experienced a high like this before. She liked it. All of her anger flew away and was replaced by a tranquil numb feeling. She was so engrossed in her own mind that she couldn't hear the instructions. She didn't even come back to reality until Lucius stepped on her foot causing her to turn to him with a questioning glance.

"Lily, we were put into partners, you're stuck with the wolf," He said before he strode of to Narcissa Black's cauldron, an unhappy look on his face. Narcissa in turn was glaring at her cauldron waiting for the blond wizard to join her.

"When will those two shut up and shag already?" She said mindlessly. She turned to ask Severus what the hell was going on when she noticed he was off with Bellatrix blushing while the blue-eyed witch asked him a question.

Shaking her head she grabbed her things and walked over to Remus's cauldron. Sitting in the stool she put her head into her hands and waited for the room to stop spinning.

"Ok maybe this potion isn't the best thing in the world," she mumbled to herself.

"Um …lily are you all right?" Remus asked concern lacing his words.

"Never better, what the are we supposed to be doing anyway?" She said rubbing her temples.

He pointed to the board. She squinted her eyes and read the instructions.

"Oh, ok. You can handle the mixing ill just cut the shite up," she said laying her head down.

"Lily why don't you just direct me and ill do the actual physical stuff, I don't trust you with a knife right at the moment." Remus said walking off to gather the ingredients.

"I'm perfectly fine," She mumbled to no one, she suddenly found her long pale fingers extremely interesting. Remus came back to find her watching her hand in wonderment while slowly moving it.

Remus nudged her but he got no response.

"Poor Moony got stuck with the brainless redhead," James said loudly from his cauldron next to theirs.

Lily turned her head slowly to face him. She stared at him for a moment; he looked slightly startled.

"You're doing that wrong Potter, if you add in the beetle eyes cut up like that you'd kill the drinker" she said slowly. He just glared at her and added them in anyways.

Remus just shook his head and started their own potion. Lily directed him sitting down while he added in all of the correct ingredients.

"But the book says to do it like this" Remus argued.

"The book is a piece of shite…I made this potion last month doing what the book said an it turned the color of shit brown, just trust me man. I know what imp doing." Lily said with her hands over her eyes.

"Whatever" Remus said as he through in a vile of pure dragons blood.

"Remus have you ever felt the pain of the morning rain as it soaks you to the bone?" she said quietly with her eyes closed.

"Um no? Lily are you okay?" He asked stirring the potion.

"Maybe I don't really wanna know how your garden grows…cause I just wanna fly…" She said ignoring his question. Suddenly her eyes shot open and she hopped off her stool and ran over to the nearest desk stealing the parchment there and running over to Remus.

"This could be a song!" she said excitedly her eyes wide.

"Lily, calm down… What the hell did you do to your eyes?" He asked gripping her arms.

"What?" she asked staring at him with a blank face.

"He rummaged in his bag and found a mirror handing it to her. Too busy to ask why the hell he had a mirror she took it and looked in. Her eyes had changed from their normal emerald green color to a dark violet.

"Hmmm" she said raising her eyebrow in approval.

"What's wrong with you Evans? You look a demon" Sirius said standing behind Remus.

She looked at him and made a face. Handing Remus back his mirror.

"Oh well done Miss Evans, Mr. Lupin. Your potion is perfect! Twenty points to Gryffindor" Professor Slughorn announced sweeping up to their cauldron.

Lily sent Remus a cocky smirk.

"Oh my Miss Evans. What have you done to your eyes? Is this a new fashion statement? Ahh I remember my rebellious days as a youth" he said getting a look of nostalgia across his face.

Lily and Remus exchanged glances before lily narrowed her amethyst eyes at her professor.

Professor patted her head earning himself a glare before moving on to James and Sirius's cauldron.

"Ahem, Boys if you were to administer this to anyone they would die after drinking it. It is extremely important to slice the beetle eyes, not mince them" He said disappointment lacing his voice.

James glared at Lily who had started singing to herself.

"Fucking Evans" he said shoving his books into his bag.

"SEV!" Lily shouted walking up to where Severus and Lucius stood.

"Merlin Lily we're right here you don't have to shout" Lucius drawled in annoyance.

" Hey shut the fuck up, your eyes didn't turn a creepy purple color" Lily snapped back.

"Let me see" Severus scoffed. He lifted up her chin and she obediently opened her eyes widely.

"Lumos" Severus muttered. He put his lit wand in front of lily's eyes. And inspected the deep color of it. Her dilated eyes stared at him blankly.

"Well do you have any other symptoms that might be fatal?" Severus asked calmly.

"That's a nice way to ask if your dying" Lucius said 1ooking over Severus shoulder at lily's nearly black eyes.

"The high was pretty nice. Kind of short though, my head started spinning for a while and well…this happpend" lily said looking at her two friends.

" Lets go to lunch I'm hungry" Lucius said earning two looks from his classmates.

"You guys go ahead, I need a cigarette" Lily said taking out her metal cigarette case.

"Promise me you'll me actually eat something later then" Lucius said raising his eyebrow.

"Yes Daddy" she replied in a childlike voice.

"See you later Lily" Severus said as he saw Bellatrix walking past them toward the great hall. He started to slowly follow her. Lucius rolled his eyes and pulled his love struck friend along.

"eat well, Don't throw up on Bellatrix again Sev" Lily called after them laughing.

"Stupid Marauders" Severus mumbled blushing.

"Fucking Gryffindor's just have to live in a fucking tower, those fucking princesses. Why couldn't I be in Slytherin? Those bloody snakes can waltz in drunk whenever they fucking feel like it and not have to deal with stairs. But oh no I got stuck with the longest staircase known to fucking man" Lily mumbled to herself as she swayed on the staircase.

Walking down the corridor to the familiar painting, she smiled to herself and as she was about to mutter the password, the door burst open to reveal Remus Lupin. Her werewolf friend.

"Awe thanks for opening the portrait Remus" she mumbled rubbing her half closed eyes.

"Lily? I was just looking for you. We have to patrol tonight. Remember?" he asked leading her away from the entrance.

"Awe fuck, oh well might as well walk it off" she muttered.

"Are you drunk?" Remus asked laughing slightly.

"Ahem, just a bit you know. A little vodka here, a little acid there. Have you ever noticed how far it is to walk from the dungeons to the towers? Really long walk…" she said trailing off.

Remus just laughed at her and led her down the stairway.

Walking along their usual route, Remus entertained lily in her drunken state by telling her stories about the marauders.

'She so fucking drunk, she won't remember any of this anyway' he thought to himself.

"Sooo Remyboy… have you found your mate yet?" she asked as they walked down a particularly empty corridor.

"How did you know I have a mate?" Remus asked surprised by her question.

"You inspired a random study session on werewolves when I was bored one day, so cough it up. Boy or girl?" she said punching him lightly on the arm.

"Boy" he relied sighing.

"Oh really now? Gryffinwhore, Slytherdick, Ravenerd, or hufflecunt?" she asked in a mock serious voice.

He looked at her strangely and she just smiled sweetly in return.

"Nice names, Gryffindor" he said looking out the window.

"Wait who's in Gryffindor again? Ah fuck it, in our year?" she asked.

"Yes" he replied suspiciously.

"Just making sure you don't have to fuck a first year," she said defensively. They both shivered in disgust.

"Hmmm so, is he a marauder?" she asked winking.

"Yeah he is," he said rubbing his face.

"Its Potter isn't it?" she said triumphantly.

"No!" he said quickly.

"Awe don't tell me your banging Pettigrew" she said with a look of disgust on her face.

"No" he replied looking at her confused.

"Ohhhh you get screw Black! You two were always closer in that 'secretly I wanna fuck you way" she said smiling.

"You can't tell anyone though, he kinda doesn't know" Remus said blushing.

"Well he kinda will when you guys turn seventeen." She said matter of factly.

"I know, I'm just basking in our friendship now before I go and ruin everything." He said looking down.

"You wont ruin anything! Obviously he's not as straight as he claims to be if you guys are mates. He's lucky to have you" she said sincerely, the drunken haze in her purple eyes slowly fading.

"By the way lily, you never told me what happened to your eyes." He said looking at them.

"I uh… sort of took a potion that Severus concocted. Didn't really know the effects so now I have purple eyes for an unknown amount of time" she said laughing slightly.

"Well that was stupid" Remus said frowning.

"I know, it seemed like a good idea at the time. I was really pissed off," she said smiling

"Oh yeah, the whole charms incident. James was just trying to show off," Remus said comfortingly.

"I don't why, that bird he was with looked ready to fuck him right there" lily said annoyed.

"True" Remus replied laughing.

"Ahh thank god only one fucking corridor left and then I can pass out" lily said sighing in relief.

They turned a corner and herd loud noises coming from one of the broom closets.

Looking at each other, they nodded and drew their wands out. As they got closer they could distinguish the muffled grunts of two people.

"Five galleons says they're shagging" lily said as they walked up to the door.

"No. My bets on oral sex of some kind" Remus said looking slightly disturbed.

"Your on" lily said gripping the door handle.

She swung the door open to reveal James Potter with his pants around his ankles and his groin shoved into some girls face who was on her knees in front of him trying to take him all in her mouth. James looked up at lily whose amethyst eyes had widened at the sight of his ruffled hair and disarrayed glasses. He stared at her dark eyes and moaned as he relieved himself in to the girl's mouth.

"Bloody fuck Potter what the hell are you doing?" Lily yelled turning away.

"What does it look like Evans?" he sneered as he pulled up his pants.

Lily glared at him and looked at the girl on the floor who looked both embarrassed and confused. She still had a full mouth and had yet to swallow what James had shot into her mouth. Kneeling down, Lily recognized the Hufflepuff crest on her shirt and lily remembered her being a fourth year.

"Swallow" lily commanded quietly but firmly. The girl looked frightened, but obliged and gulped down with a grimace.

"Tastes like battery acid doesn't it?" Lily asked raising her eyebrow at the girl.

The girl nodded her head meekly.

"Go back to your dorm, next time you can spit it out" lily said. The girl got up quickly and rushed out of the corridor.

"How the hell would you know how to do anything sexual Evans? All you do is study and act weird," James said scowling as he leaned against the doorway.

"Reducing yourself to getting blowjobs from fourth years Potter?" lily asked turning around to glower at him.

"She's probably a lot better than you could ever be, and she wasn't that great" James replied smirking.

"Really?" lily asked slowly walking closer to him.

"Well that's something you'll never know" She whispered brushing her hand across his groin, she smirked at the way his body quickly reacted.

"Down boy" she said quickly walking away towards Remus who watched the whole thing from the windowsill.

"Here, you win" she said handing five galleons

"Why thank you my lady" he said in a polite voice pocketing the money.

"Come on Prongs lets head back" Remus said hoping off the window and walking over to his friend who was glaring at lily while she swayed from side to side.

Lucius walked down the corridor lightly, careful not to get caught by any patrolling prefects or teachers. Not that it mattered really, he was a prefect himself, and he just didn't want any confrontation with anyone.

He had just received an owl from his father. He was explaining the conditions of his betrothal to Narcissa Black.

Last month his parents told him of his little marital binding contract to the blond witch. He always knew of the wizarding traditions, his parents themselves were in an arranged marriage. He never saw the point; he was the only heir due to their dislike for each other. Now he was destined for the same fate, that was for sure, but up until this summer he had no idea who he was to be married to. Now he was stuck with the youngest Black sister, if only by a few minutes.

He had to admit that Narcissa had grown into a beauty since her younger years. But they had always had a mutual dislike for each other ever since they had been four years old and had been forced to play with each other they still never got along.

It was evident that Narcissa had received the same news over the summer holiday because when they returned for their sixth term, she was glaring daggers at him and would sneer whenever he was present.

'as though its my fault, I never asked to be married to the bloody ice princess of Slytherin' he thought to himself as he walked closer to the dungeons.

Muttering the password he waited patiently for the wall to slide open.

He entered the cold common room to find it half empty. He walked over to Severus who resided in a corner with his nose in a book and taking notes. On his way over he passed by Narcissa, his lovely fiancé, who turned her sapphire blue eyes sharply at him to give him a disapproving look before returning to her letter of some sorts.

"I'll never completely understand the reason for pureblood traditions. Honestly what the hell is the point, the pureblood race is dwindling because of these stupid customs." Lucius drawled to his friend as he sat down in the sofa across from Severus. Contrary to popular belief, Lucius did not hate anyone who wasn't pureblood, hell he had a mud blood and a half-blood for his best friends

"Trouble in paradise?" Severus asked sarcastically.

"What paradise? There is no such thing as paradise when Narcissa black is involved, all there is… is hell" Lucius said grudgingly.

"Its times like these that I thank my mother for fornicating with a muggle, oh wait no I don't because I am not good enough to be with the girl that I love because of m blood" Severus drawled.

"Did Bellatrix finally tell you who she is betrothed to?" Lucius asked sympathizing his friend. Ever since he met Severus he had known about his love for Bellatrix Black. The older Black twin. It was a classic Romeo and Juliet tale. They loved each other, but couldn't be with one another, in public that is.

"Yes, she found out that she was to be married to Rudolfus LeStrange." Severus said moodily.

"Isn't he gay?" Lucius asked confused.

"yes" severus replied shortly.

"wow, and I thought I had it bad" Lucius said feeling somewhat better about his situation. He looked over at Narcissa to see her writing profusely. He examined the golden blond locks that delicately framed her pale face. Her large dark blue eyes were cast down and her dark pink lips were slightly parted revieling her pearly white teeth. He trced the shape of her jaw and the curve of her neck leading down to the open neck of her plum colored robes.

'definalty prettier when she's not glaring' Lucius thought. As if on que she looked up to meet his stare and narrowed to pretty eyes at him before getting up to leave to common room.

Sighing he looked at severus to see his friend reading his book again. The wall slid open again and Lucius and severus looked up to see their redheaded friend stumble through the door.

" 'ello chums" she said in a mock sweet voice.

"what are you so bloody happy about?" severus asked from behind his book.

" oh nothing actually, I just got a letter from my dear, dear sweat father stating that I must either stay at school for the upcoming holiday or go stay with my lovely mum and her wonderfull husband because cladia is due for labor and she doesn't want my "abnormalty" to affect the baby. Isn't that fucking wonderful?" she said sarcasim dripping from her words.

"what are you going to do aout your gigs?" Severus asked.

"gues ill have to crash at Danny's house." Lily said.

"Ill never understand muggles" ucius said sulking.

"you'll never understand anything"Severus pointed out causeing lily to laugh despite her angry mood.

Lucius watched his two friends. Lily had her thick two-toned hair straight at sticks. Her dark emerald green eyes had lost their violent hue a month ago but there was still a small amount of amethist speks in the center of her eyes making them seem darker. She was a rare one, that's for sure.

The three often wondered what house would suit her since she seemed so out of place in Gryffindor. She was smart, that's for damn sure, but she's not nerdy or studious enough to be a Ravenclaw, she is extremely loyal to her close and select friends, but she defiantly doent belong with the weirdos in Hufflepuff, she's way too cool for them. Gryffindor would suit her had she not been so rebellious towrd the self centered arseholes that reside in that stuffy tower. While she loved to hang out in Slytherin, she's not evil enough to belong with the snakes in the dungeons.

She doesn't really belong anywhere, but yet she could fit in everywhere.

"cheers to fate, and all the fucked up things it has in store for us" Lily said throwing back a shot of firewhiskey that she had poured into a potions vial.

"So what are you lot so gloomy about?" She asked pouring another shot.

"im engaged to a stuck up icy bitch that I have hated since I was four and the only thing we actually agree on is our hate for eachother." Lucius saidstealing the vial from her hand.

"what about you Sev? Whats eating your balls?" she asked snatching the emty vial back and pouring her pale friend a shot.

"the girl that Im in love with is Betrothed to Rudolphus Lestrange and I cant do anything about it because I am a half blood" Severus said sadly taking the shot and downing the burning liquid.

"I thought he was gay" Lily stated falling back against the floor.

"he is" Severus and Lucius answered.

"sucks for bella"lily remarked. The boys murmered in agreement.

They were silent for a few moments until Bellatrix passed by them, her black hair flowing behind her as she turned her dark blue eyes to Sverus giving him a certain look making him blush as she proceded to the dorms.

"well you pathetic pixies, im off to bed… got to get some…rest for tomorrows history lecture. Yes"severus mumbled as he followed his secret girlfriend to the dorms.

"I hate that Slytherins get their own rooms" lily mumbled.

"you twerps are stuck in that stuffy tower" Lucius said chuckleing.

"do you know how many times I've had to sleep in the cooridor because I was to fucked up to remember the password, too many to fucking count, I keep an extra sleeping bag in the broom sloset" she said laughing.

"its official, you're insane" Lucius said

"its been official since fourth year" she replied

they were silent for a few momwnts.

"how many venereal diseases do you think the maurauders have in total?" she asked randomly staring into the fire. Before Lucius had a chance to give his opinion the Narcissa walked through the sliding wall and looked like she was about to freeze in place. She had her arms wrapped tightly around her thin body and her pale skin looked frosty.

Walking toward the fire she sat in severus's vacated seat. An awkward silence hung around them like humid air.

"well I think I should be heading off, I don't want to be out to late and all. Bye Luc, See ya Cissa" Lily said getting up and quickly leaving the two to an awkward silence.

The two Slytherins sat there for a while. Neither moved, with the exception of Narcissa's shivering. Lucius didn't mind her company he just felt extrememly strange in her presence.

"we're going married after next year" she said suddenly breaking the thick ice that had formed between them.

"I know" he replied not knowing what else to say to that.

"there is no way out of it, I've checked" she said not looking at him

"me too" he said shortly.

" look if we're going to be married I require that we set some rules. I wont feel safe until I do" she said forcefully.

"I'm not going to kill you in your sleep, darling" he drawled sarcastically.

"I want you to know that I will not produce an heir until I am ready to do anything with you" she said.

"fair enough" he replied.

"you will never hit me, or injure me in any magical way" she said glaring at him.

"Like I would care enough to" he said scoffing.

"you will not cheat on me, I refuse to be humiliated in such a way and If you do I will leave magical contract or not" she said.

"can I count on that" he replied earning himself an icy stare.

"fine I can live with that, and the same applys for you as well. I want to know thata my heir is mine and not some random bugger who you decided to mingle and fool around with." He said staring at her.

"fair enough, we might as well enjoy what is left of our youth, and try to make our lives together as enjoyable as can be" she said sadly looking into the fire.

"you should get to bed, you might catch a cold if you don't change into something warmer soon. And I do know how much you hate getting sick" he told her as he got up and headed for his own warm and luxuirious bed.

Narsicca nodded and mumbled something he couldn't quite understand.

. 

Sirius Black sat in the Gryffindor common room alone. His dorm mates are under the impression that he is in the accompany of a rather promiscuous Ravenclaw.

He was actually with her until he made a lame excuse about having to check up on his pet kneazel when he couldn't quite enjoy her company and administrations fully.

He just couldn't get it, why was it so hard to kiss girls now, everytime he got around to it he always felt strange and weird. Like it wasn't meant to be.

Staring into the fire he listened to the crackleing sounds that soothed him to no end, only to have it interrupted by someone's singing. Rather loudly.

"OHH IM NOT SICK BUT IM NOT WELL" he heard someone practically yell through the portrait hole.

The portrait hole opened and in walked Lily Evans with her eyes closed and her head moving to an imaginary beat.

"CANT YOU TELL, THAT IM IN HELLL" she yelled not notcing Sirius as she sat in the chair across from him.

She then went off to mumble the rest of the words in her head still moving around wildly.

It was quite funny to watch.

'must have heard me laughing' Sirius thought when she opened her eyes and abruptly stopped whatever she had been doing.

"what the hell are you laughing at? Have you never seen someone sing before?" she asked narrowing her eyes at him.

"not like that" he said laughing.

"so what are you doing here this early in the evening anyway? Shouldn't you be spreading around VD and impreginating 7th years?" she asked innocently.

"shouldn't you be off getting drunk and trying to kill yourself?" he asked glaring.

"im already drunk" she replied.

"and what are going on about early in the evening, it 2 in the morning" he exclaimed.

"really?" she asked and them nodded her head.

The two sat in silence. Each mulling over the thoughts that plagued their minds.

Lily reached in her jacket pocket and pulled out a silver flask. Taking a long drink from it she coughed and offered some to Sirius.

"I remember you in first year. When you were chubby and innocent. What the hell happened to you?" Sirius asked taking the flask and drinking a large gulp.

"life" she said sullenly. He nodded in agreement and handed her flask back to her.

"well lots of things actually, my dad had an affair with his secretary when I was ten. My mum, being the stupid woman she is, begged him not to leave her. He did anyway. There was a custody battle over my sister and I. She was 14 and I had already turned eleven by the time their divorce was finished. My dad took everything and my mum blamed it on petunia and I. My mum and dad didn't really care about having custody over us, they just wanted to spite eachother, seeing as we were the product of their failed love and marriage." Lily said in one breath as she stared into the fire. Sirius just looked at her strangley. He asnt expecting her life story but he listened any way.

"two months after the divorce, my dad married his secretary. Not to be out done, my mother went off to marry and a rich American business man who was a fucking asshole. My sister and I wanted to go to schoool here, so we were to split the holidays in half one year we would spend a summer with mum and winter with dad and the next year it would switch. My sister ran away when I was thirteen. My mothers husband had a thing for her and he would always visit her room at night. I could here him. When she left he got mad. He never touched my mother but he always hit me." She said slowly.

"why didn't you just lleave to your dad's, or tell him" Sirius asked.

"Like my dad was any better. All he cared about was his job. His trophy wife hates me. She tried to poison me a couple of years ago but I knew more than she could ever and I told my dad. He said I was trying to get attention and I shouldn't make up lies. The only reason I even go back to America is because my est friend lives in my step father's neighborhood. The only reason I go to my dad's house is because Im in a band in London. I have two families and I live for my friends" she said taking another drink.

"My parents hate me" Sirius said suddenly.

"what?"she asked looking at him.

"they do, I was supposed to be in Slytherin. They nearly disowned me for that. Now im expected to marry a purblood witch and produce and heir to the Black fortune. But im not so sure that's what I want." he said.

"whats with the whole prueblood rage anyway" lily asked.

"stupid elitest wizards wo don't want anything to do with muggles" Sirius mumbled.

"do do do dodo do" Lily started singing to herself causeing Sirius to laugh.

"wow Evans I would never have that you of all people would be this fun" Sirius said watching her continue her little sond.

"that's because you and your little friends decided to refrain from getting to know me and just jumped right in to makingmy life hell" she replied.

"what can I say…your special" he said.Lily rolled her eyes in response

"well Black, as nice as it is sitting here talking to you…I like the idea of hitting the sack better so…im gunna head up now, I think its safe to say that you should have at least had a quick shag…I doubt the rest of the guys would ask you any questions beside the usual 'how big is her rack'" lily said doing an impression of James…glasses and all.

She then picked up her flask and headed up the girls staircase.


	2. Tick

**CHAPTER 2 : Tick**

**AN: Yeah its been a while... **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing that you happen to recognize.**

"Tick ...tick...tick...tick...tick...tick..."

"Shut up with ticking will you?"

"I cant help it. You make me tick"

"You make me vomit but you don't see me puking all over the floor now do you?"

"You paint a lovely mental picture Evans"James potter said sarcastically from his place in front of the empty charms classroom.

"just for you Potter, take it as a thank you for landing me in this detention with you" Lily replied from the window sill.

"Landing you in here? If I remember correctly, it was you who was stumbling around intoxicated with I don't know what and pledging your allegiance to the bloody United States of America at 4 in the freaking morning"James replied angrily. He started tapping his foot on the floor to refrain from ticking again.

" well if you weren't in such a hurry to get away from wherever you had your last fuck and you actually paid attention to what you're doing, then you wouldn't have crashed into me and caused us to collide with a statue of armor, then Filtch wouldn't have caught us. Besides I never get caught except when you're involved" lily retorted as she took out a cigarette and lit it with her wand.

"I needed to relieve stress, we have a match against slytherin tomorrow Which is what I should be doing right now with a certain 6th year Hufflepuff and not in here with you" James said cracking his knuckles.

"Wow, I just realized how much I don't give a shit" Lily replied taking a drag and walking towards the door.

"Where are you going?" James grumbled.

"Wherever you're not, you're complaining is starting to irritate me" she said opening the door with her wand.

"What are you gonna do about McGonagall?" he called after her.

"Tell her I DIED" she yelled from the other side of the door.

James ran to the door only to find it locked again.

"CRAZY BITCH!" he yelled hitting the door.

After a few minutes of manhandling the door, it clicked again. He took a step back and in walked his professor.

"Mr. Potter is everything all right?" McGonagall .asked walking into the classroom.

"Yeah, just peachy. Can I go now?"he asked grabbing his stuff.

"Well I suppose so. Don't be wandering around after hours anymore...where is Miss Evans?" She asked suddenly looking around the empty classroom.

"She died" James mumbled as he headed toward the Hufflepuff common room.

...the next day...

_Dear..._ _diary? _

_I'm sitting here in my dormitory. Empty dormitory. there is a quidditch match going on at the moment, and my dorm mates, being the sluts they are, decided to go and support the Gryffindor team in hopes of bedding the infamous James Potter. In other news my father's whore is due around winter holiday. Wonderful for her because she now has a secure hold of my father's fortune, horrible for the rest of the world because anything that those two produce has to be disastrous. This poses problems for me because I now have nowhere to stay and I have about four shows booked so far. I think Im going to have to find a hotel, or break into my own house. Oh well, not like I've never done it before. Erick has a new boyfriend, he's an American wizard. I cant wait to meet him, according to Erick he's a blast. Tomorrow is the full moon, poor Remus...he's been a bit peaky lately and the fact that he hasn't told Sirius anything is starting to strain him. That reminds me, I have to find a way to sneak out of castle grounds tomorrow night, there's a music festival and my band was booked. Shit, maybe Remus can help... hmm I just have to get to Hogsmeade and I can apparate from there. Awwwe crap, I can hear the cheers all the way up here. Gryffindor won, that means no Slytherin party tonight. Fuck._

Lily quickly closed her book and locked it in her trunk. She wanted to get out of the tower before the gryffindor party started.

She put on her sneakers and sweater and dashed for the door only to be met with a large group of loud, happy Gryffindors all surrounding a smaller group of dirty and sweaty scarlet and gold clad quidditch players.

"Damn" she mutter. She put up her hood and tried to weave in and out of the crowd. She was near the portrait hole when she felt someone grab her arm. She turned around to tell someone off when she came face to face with a smiling Sirius Black.

"What the fuck" she said leaning back.

"Come and join the party Evans, show some Gryffindor pride" He said grinning. She grimaced in response when she saw a group of girls make their way towards him. No doubt trying to catch his eye.

"No Thanks Black, I think Ill pass" she said looking at the portrait hole longingly.

"Nonsense, we have fire whiskey and butterbeer. Come on" He said pulling her along with him To a designated group of chairs over by the fireplace.

"Well, might as well see what a Gryffindor party is like, it has to be better than Hufflepuff" she mumbled to herself. She decided to sit next to Remus and pair of hormone driven teens practically going at it on the sofa next to hers.

"Thanks Rem" she said taking the entire bottle of Fire Whiskey out of his hand and taking a large drink.

"Uh, you're welcome Lily" he said watching as she nearly drank half the bottle in one go.

"This is good shit" she said looking at the label. She looked up and saw Sirius and Remus staring at her in a amazement and peter looking at her with fear.

"What?" she asked suspiciously.

"You just drank nearly half a bottle of fire whiskey and you are still talking" Sirius said looking at her in awe.

"Hehe yeah..." she replied putting the bottle down and averting her eyes.

"So Remus... I need your help tomorrow getting out of the castle" She said in a casual low tone.

"Why? Lily you know what tomorrow is..." Remus replied looking around.

"Yeah I know, that's why it'll be perfect. My band is performing at the Music Festival and I have to go...im the lead singer." she replied

"How are you going to get out of there?" he asked

"I'll apparate once we get off grounds" she replied as though it were the most obvious solution.

"You cant apparate yet, you're not of age" he said in a hurried voice before he took another drink.

"Not of age here, but I am in the US, Im aa registered witch here and there. So they wont be able to do anything" She replied following his example and downing another swig.

"Well... alright I guess I could take you, but you have to promise me that you wont return until morning" he said seriously.

"That's easy, I probably wont be back until mid afternoon anyway" she said getting her wand out and conjuring up small little glass cups

"Okay, who wants to challenge me?" she announced. She got the attention of a rather competitive quidditch player.

"To what?" he asked.

"A drinking game" she said smirking. He was large and muscular, she could take him.

"Phst a girl like you cant beat me at a drinking game" he said grinning.

" Watch me" she muttered as she filled each cup with burning liquid.

"Lets wager ten galleons then if you're so confident" he said sitting down. She gave him a narrowed look before nodding her head.

"Ohhh a game, I'll keep score" Sirius said excitedly jumping over the sofa to reach them. A few people had come as well, everyone wanted to Lily Evans lose something.

After everything was set, Lily looked up and waited for Sirius to say go.

"Annnnd GO" Sirius said. Lily was rapid, she downed each little cup with ease and even turned the cups upside down as she slammed them on the table.

Her opponent was catching up to her, but his faced started to contort as the whiskey burned his throat with each drink. He was nearing his last one and couldn't be happier. He drank it and slammed it down on the table, convinced that he had won. He looked up and saw her smirking at him.

"Finally" she drawled.

"Pay up chum, you lost" Sirius said grinning and standing behind Lily.

"Who's next" He announced.

"Why the hell are you so excited?' Lily asked narrowing her dark eyes at him.

"This is fun, I have a newfound respect for you" he simply said as the next quidditch team's keeper came and sat across from her.

"You've got to be pretty drunk by now, lets wager twenty galleons" he said slamming his coins down.

"All right then" she said as she conjured a new set of shot glasses. This continued until two thirds of the Gryffindor quidditch team were either passed out in various places in the common room, or regurgitating everything they ate for dinner.

"Im ... done" Lily muttered as she made her way over to sit next to Remus, she had to hold onto Sirius for support so she didn't tumble across the room.

"I cant believe you drank that much fire whiskey Lily" Remus said to her as she laid her head down on the arm of the sofa.

"Dontmakemetalk" she muttered through clenched teeth.

Suddenly there was a loud moan from the couple on the sofa. The blonde girl sat up and was followed by a disarrayed James potter with red lipstick smeared all over his face.

Lily couldn't hold it in anymore. She immediately leaned over the armrest and heaved whatever her stomach contained.

"Ewwww" The girl squealed crunching up her face at the sight of Lily's vomit. The sound only made Lily heave more causing the girl to get up and run up to the girl's dormitory, leaving behind a group of bewildered and astonished Marauders and a sick girl.

"Wow Evans, are you all right?" Peter asked.

"Don't talk to me, I'm in the middle of throwing up my liver" she said. When she couldn't go on she wiped her mouth and laid her head back down. Remus cleaned up the mess off the floor.

"Stop spinning" Lily mumbled putting her head between her legs and going limp.

"What did you do to her?" James asked as he saw her tremble.

"She out drank half the quidditch team" Sirius answered pointing to the group of passed out boys.

"Well, we cant do much else, none of us can get to the girls dormitory. We have to leave her here" James said.

"I don't think we should, you never know what might happen if one of those blokes wakes up" Sirius said.

"Well what should we do then?" Peter asked.

"We could take her up to our dorm, one of us would have to give up a bed." Remus said

"We could share a bed and I'll let her have mine" Sirius said poking Lily's limp form. Remus gulped and averted his eyes.

"Um okay then , that's fine" he said.

"I'll get her" James said as he made his way to pick her up. He gently lifted her bridal style. She was lighter than he expected, he always remembered her as being over weight, he never really paid attention to how skinny she was now. It was quite frightening.

" Come on then" He said as he walked up the stairs.

They all made their way to their dorm after James. Sirius opened the door and went to tidy up his bed.

"All right lay her down" Sirius said. James laid her frail body down, her jeans were too big for her and they slid down revealing her milky white hip.

Sirius paid no attention and left to Remus' bed, but James couldn't rip his eyes away from the exposed skin. He reached out to touch her but as soon as his fingertips grazed her skin she turned over snapping James out of his spell.

Closing the hangings around her he made his way to his own bed and forced himself to sleep.

On the other side of the room, Remus and Sirius climbed into Remus' bed. Sirius like to sleep shirtless, which didn't help Remus, and Remus slept in his t-shirt and comfy pants. They both arranged themselves in odd positions and feel into uneasy alcohol induced comas.

...next morning...

Lily slowly opened her eyes against the pounding that was attacking her inner mind. She looked around her . She wasn't in her bed that's for sure, The bed hangings surrounding her were still intact. Lily's hangings had several scorch marks in them.

She slowly looked around, She was hit with an astounding stench of sex and aftershave. She fanatically checked her clothes and made sure her panties were in place.

"Ok Lily, you were being a good girl last night." she muttered.

She slowly raised her body against her protesting muscles. She looked around her and saw candy wrappers and little toys. She even saw a crest of Black that had scribbles all over it. It didn't take long for Lily to process that she was in Sirius' bed.

She peeked out through the curtains and saw that the sixth year boys dorm, it was rather empty so she forced herself to get out of the bed that she awoke in and set off towards the door. She passed by Remus' bed and saw that Sirius and Remus were entangled in each others limbs sleeping peacefully, however Remus looked extremely pale and he had dark circles around his eyes.

Lily was strongly reminded of her friends that had become Heroin addicts and she shuddered in disgust.

She moved away from the sleeping couple and started for the door again. She was about to reach open what she thought was the door to the hallway when it swung open to reveal a towel clad dripping wet James Potter.

The sudden movement didn't do well for Lily's hangover and she stumbled back holding her head.

"Bloody hell! put clothes on Potter I don't need this so early in the morning. " lily hissed.

"Whatever Evans, you're in my dorm by the way. The door is over there." James said pointing to the other door.

"Thank god" she muttered and rushed to the door.

"Bitch" James muttered as he woke up his sleeping friends by throwing pillows at them.

...Later that day...

"Lily how are you going to get off castle grounds?"Severus asked his redheaded friend.

"I'm getting some assistance" she said twirling the small bottle around her neck.

"You should tell us when your shows during holiday break are. We've been waiting to see you perform" Lucius said.

"Sure thing, you guys just have to make sure you dress like muggles ."she replied grinning.

"When are you leaving?"Severus asked staring out the window.

"Uhhh ... right now, see ya guys later" she said looking at her watch and jumping up. She made her way toward the gryffindor common room. Remus said he left instructions on his bed.

Once she entered the portrait hole she dashed up the stairs to the boys dorm. Once she opened the door, she saw it was empty. She made her way to Remus' bed which that hangings down.

'probably to make sure those dopes don't see the instructions' she thought as she reached his bed.

She yanked open the scarlet hanging to see Sirius Black smothering his face in Remus' pillow. He promptly shot his head up when the hangings opened. The two stared at each other in shock. Slowly Lily recovered.

"Um...I'm gonna pretend that I didn't see this...but while you were snogging Remus' pillow did you happen to come across a paper or something that Remus might have left here ...for me" she asked trying to hold laughter in.

"Um no, but Remus did tell me to wait for you... on his bed because you need help getting out of the castle, but you were late ... and I got bored so..." he trailed off while he sheepishly chuckled.

"You're my instructions. Great." she said sarcastically.

"Well technically, Prongs and I are your instructions. He's currently being delayed by your dorm mate." he said patting down Remus' pillow.

"This just keeps getting better and better" she mumbled.

"So where are you going anyways Evans? You look like a homeless hag from Nocturne Alley" Sirius asked looking at her attire. She was wearing tight skinny jeans that hugged the shape of her leg. The pants themselves were shredded in Various places and looked to be at least five years old. She had on a revealing tight bondage inspired shirt and a tight motorcycle jacket that looked worn like her laced up boots.

" Remus didn't tell you?" she quietly asked . He shook his head.

"I'm the lead singer in a rock and roll band" she said pointing to the large appendage she had strapped to her back.

'What the hell is rock and roll?" Sirius asked confused. Lily looked shocked, she didn't know how anyone could be alive and not know rock and roll.

"My god Black, remind later to have you listen to my records. How can you not know what rock and roll is? That's insane" Lily said outraged. Sirius looked slightly miffed by her outburst.

Before he could say anything else, his best friend burst through the door in a hurry, glasses astray and hair messier than usually.

"Sorry I'm late. When are we meeting Moony?" he said in a rush before he realized who he was talking to.

Lily Evans was standing in the middle of his room wearing one of the sexiest outfits he had ever seen on a girl, especially her. She was staring at him with confusion written through her blank mask. Her form fitting clothes working his imagination to the bone. He tried to gulf down his body's reaction and avert his eyes.

"My god Evans what do you have attached to you're back" James said trying to ignore the bulge in his pants.

"Don't worry I'll destroy it!" Sirius yelled jumping up with his wand ready.

"No! "Lily yelled dropping to the floor before Sirius' spell could hit her.

"ITS MY GUITAR YOU IDIOTS" She screamed when James was about to position his wand as well.

"What the fuck is a greetar?" James asked suddenly.

"A guitar. you know... musical instrument, you play music with it see.." she said taking her guitar out of the black case and bringing it onto her lap. She had a ruby candy apple red Fender Strat , with star stickers all over it. It looked worn, but Lily's fingers moved over it naturally, as though she were scratching an itch.

She strummed a few cords and played little tune, then she looked up at her small audience.

The boys looked confused.

"What kind of music is that supposed to be?" Sirius asked bluntly.

"You're supposed to plug this into an amp so it sounds clearer. This my flee ridden peer, is rock and roll." She replied doing a complicated riff quickly.

"You're weird Evans" James said. Lily just rolled her eyes and re-packed her guitar and strapped it across her chest.

"Well you delinquent brats, if you don't mind, I have important places to be right now, so if we could get moving that would be really helpful" she said walking to the door..

" Sure thing. Prongs, we need the cloak." Sirius said standing up. James rushed to his trunk and retrieved his family heirloom, the silvery material shimmering in his fingers. He went and stood next to his companions, ignoring the look of shock on the girl's face.

"Lets go" He said as he draped the cloak around the three of them. They all trekked downstairs to find an empty common room. They both grabbed on to Lily's upper arms and covered her eyes.

"Can't have you know all of our secrets" James whispered in her ear. She didn't respond, but let them guide her.

They took her down to the one eyed witch and Sirius quietly opened the portal. Once they were securely inside the passage. They removed their hold on lily and took off the invisibility cloak..

The three of them lit their wands and started walking down the passageway.

After an unknown amount of walking, they arrived at their destination. James reached up and opened the door above his head. They each climbed into the empty cellar of Honeydukes and James threw the cloak around them once again. They carefully made their way through the store into the crisp fall air.

"Um okay, thanks for your help. Make sure you give Remus my love" Lily said before disappearing with a large crack..

James and Sirius looked at each other, each mirroring the other's thoughts.

"Did she just bloody apparate?" They asked at once staring at the place where the girl had disappeared.

Lily appeared in a multicolored room with a large pop. She looked around at the walls, each one painted a different yet extremely bright color. She looked at the neon green wall that had band posters all over it, to the bright orange wall that contained pictures and paintings. The hot pink wall had a small window and a twin sized bed with a metal frame and light pink metal hearts at the end. The last wall was yellow and sported a bright blue wardrobe that was covered with random doodles and a vintage white boutique that had make up and hair products strewn about it. The floor had clothes and shoes thrown all over making the hardwood flooring barely viable.

Lily loved this place

Suddenly the bright purple door opened and in walked a tall lanky girl, skinny as a pixie with black hair and thin lips.

"AHHH" she screamed when she noticed someone was in her room. Lily just smiled at her friend in response.

"Lily? Bloody hell you have to stop doin' that. You know how I get scared... Im so glad you're here!" The black haired pixie said launching herself at her redhead friend.

"Hahhah sorry Jaz, didn't mean to scare you, and you know me... I'm always late" Lily

"Yeah well Sid and Adrian are already there, they called me from a payphone not too long ago. We really need to head out" Jaz said picking the pair of drumsticks that were laying on the messy bed.

" All right then, same place right?" Lily said holding out her hand.

"Yeah, same as last year, hopefully we weren't too high for you to remember" Jazmine said grinning and taking her friends hand.

"Hahahah hopefully not" she said before making the two of them disappear with a crack.

The two girls arrived in an empty bathroom stall. The floors and toilet seat were covered in grime and the walls had mysterious stains on them.

"Ugh this has got to be the worst toilet in London" Lily mumbled covering her nose.

"Lets go!" Her skinny friend said kicking the open.

They ran out of the bathroom and each took a breath of relief.

"All right love, lets go" Jazmine said walking toward the direction where loud music was coming from.

Thats all, please review and tell me what you think : D

- Lyla Gallagher 3


	3. Memory Lane

_**AN. Here's Chapter 3**_

_Six years ago:_

A little girl walked silently on an empty sidewalk. The sun shined brightly making her ruby red hair sparkle from its low pony tail that exposed the little girl's round chubby face.

Her yellow summer dress exposed her shoulders and she could feel her skin burning from its exposure to the sun. She kept walking, holding her small purple suitcase close to her.

She looked around at the unfamiliar houses that surrounded her, her small shoes tapping on the cement as she searched for something that would help her.

Turning the corner she was hit with another set of unfamiliar houses, but sitting on the porch of a reddish brown house was a little boy who looked to be about her age. She made her way to the boy, he didn't notice her because he was bent over some paper and he was scribbling furiously.

When she shadowed his sun light he looked up, lily saw that he had large brown eyes that were framed with thick square glasses. His black hair was thick and messy and his golden tanned skin was several shades darker than hers.

He looked at her curiously and squinted his eyes so he could get a better look at her.

"How can I get to London?" She asked finally, breaking the silence.

"Um... I think you have to take a plane. That means you have to go to LAX" he said. His childlike voice imitating a Californian drawl.

"Bloody hell" she mumbled in response.

"Your accent's funny, are you from there?"he asked staring intently at her.

"Your accent is funny too you know. yeah, I just moved here with my sister, my mum and my mum's new husband" she replied childishly.

"How come you wanna go back? Don't you like it here?" he asked.

"I miss my friends, and I don't have any friends here. Just my sister and she gets annoying when she tries to act old" lily said looking down.

"I'll be your friend, then you can take me with you. I've never been to London" He said smiling and standing up. He was taller than her by a few inches, but he was extremely thin.

"Im Erick, Im eleven" he said as he stuck out his hand.

"Im Lily. I just turned eleven too." She replied smiling brightly. He sat back down and moved his glass of lemonade so that she could sit next to him.

She lightly put her suitcase on the floor and sat next to him.

"What were you doing?" She asked referring to the small sketch book next to him.

"I was just drawing a dress that I want to make" he said picking up the small book.

"You make dresses?" she asked, her emerald eyes growing large with excitement.

"Well, I try when my mom isn't around" he said blushing slightly.

"That's wicked !" she exclaimed looking at the picture in his hands. It wasn't a great sketch but she could kind of see where he was going. She happily looked at her new friend who was staring at her in shock.

"You don't think im weird?" he asked slightly startled.

"No, should I?" she asked uncertainly.

"Well usually people get freaked out when I tell them that I like to make clothes, they say that boys don't make clothes, girls do" he said looking down.

"Well I'm not really that normal anyway and no one thinks that I can become a rockstar. Like my father, he always tells me to think practically and that I shouldn't set my standards too high, but I just ignore him cause no one can tell anyone else what they can and cant do." she said trying to cheer her friend up.

"What do you mean you're not normal? Are you an alien or something?" he asked looking up at her hopefully.

"Um no not exactly. If I tell you , you have to promise me that you wont tell anyone !" she said.

"Sure, that's what best friends do" He replied looking curiously at her.

"Im a ... witch" she mumbled twisting her hands tightly, waiting for the rejection that never came. When he didn't say anything, she felt tears come to her eyes. She already lost her new friend cause she was a freak.

"Are you serious?" he asked finally trying to decipher whether she was lying or not. He didn't think she was. She nodded meekly in response.

"That is so... cool" he said smiling. She shot her head up in surprise.

"You aren't scared?" she asked hopefully.

"No that's awesome" he said still smiling causing Lily to smile.

"Can you do magic?" he asked excitement flowing through his every pore.

"Not yet, I have to go to school for that" she said.

"Cool, when you learn can you show me?" he asked.

"Yeah definitely" she replied. They smiled at each other happily.

"Wanna go to the beach?" he asked suddenly taking her hand and rushing to the gate. Lily happily agreed and followed her new friend.

_Present time:_

Lily slowly opened her pounding eyes and looked around. She saw a mass of bright colors and she was staring into the face of a scary looking mask. Rubbing her eyes she looked again and recognized her friends room.

She looked over and saw Jazmine with her long limbs dangling off the side of the pink metal bed with her mouth hanging slightly open.

Lily looked around for the alarm clock, carefully stepping over her sleeping friend. She shuffled around the floor and found it hidden under a furry leopard print jacket. The time said it was 10 in the morning. They had been sleeping for 5 hours, but lily knew she needed to head back to school.

She set the banged up clock next to an empty bottle of beer and slowly crept out of the bright room.

Walking lightly down the stairs she made her way to the kitchen. She faintly recognized the smell of coffee and her mouth watered with longing. She walked into her destination and saw a small woman sitting at the counter reading the paper and drinking from a mug. She looked up and smiled.

Lily walked over and hugged her friends mom.

"Lily, its been too long. How is your schooling going?" the woman asked in her Spanish accent.

"Just fine, cant wait for break though. Is this your newest project?" lily asked referring to the paintings and molds hanging by the kitchen window. Jasmine's mum was an artist, and was rather famous where she came from in Spain.

"Yes it is. Would you like some coffee darling? You girls came home late last night" she said smiling knowingly at lily while she got up to pour the tired redhead a cup.

"Thank you" lily said taking the cup and relishing in the strong taste of caffeine.

"Well honey Im going for my morning walk, Tell Jazmine that she needs to pick up her room" she said patting the top of lily's head and heading out through the door with her umbrella.

Lily stared into the black oblivion that was her coffee. She had so much fun last night, she never gets a rush like she does when she's on stage. Her band rocked that festival, and they were booked for more gigs and a few record companies tried to swindle them. She also watched a lot of the other bands and made a whole other group of friends.

That was where she belonged. Surrounded by music, not in a suffocating prison of magic. She loved doing magic, it was a part of her, she just hated Hogwarts and most of the people that came with it.

She gulped the rest of the steaming liquid and rinsed her cup. Slowly she made her way up stairs to her favorite purple door. She walked over to her skinny friend and shook her shoulder.

"Mmmmm goway" she got as the mumbled response.

"Jazzy, I've to go now" Lily whispered.

"Whereyagoin?" the sleeping girl mumbled.

"To hell" lily said chuckling.

"Be sure to write" jazmine said before turning over and hugging her pillow.

Lily shook her red locks, grabbed her guitar and closed her eyes ti apparate to Hogsmeade.

Opening her eyes and shaking off the odd feeling of aparation, lily looked around and saw no one.

She walked calmly out from behind the tree and made her way to hogwarts.

_Ten minutes later..._

"I hate this place..." lily mumbled to herself.

"Why the fuck is it so far in..." she said looking around at the foresty setting

"Stupid castle is mocking me...I know it" she said glaring at the large castle

"Grrr why did I come back?" lily screamed to the cloudy sky.

"I miss the beach" she said pitifully as rain started to pour down on her weak body.

"Home sweet fucking home" she said opening the large doors and heading for the gryffindor Tower.

She passed by the moving portraits but ignored all of their comments toward her soaking wet attire.

Finally making her way to the portrait of the fat lady, lily mumbled the password and the portrait reluctantly let the dirty girl in.

She walked through the crowded common room, no one was outside due to the rain.

"Oy Evans, what the bloody hell happened to you?" She heard someone shout from across the room. She lifted her hand and flipped off half the common room.

Everyone was in they're uniforms, meaning that it was break between classes.

'fuck class, im going to sleep' she thought going up the girls stair case.

She walked into her dorm and passed by the group of her giggling dorm mates that were all situated on one bed.

"Ugh she looks disgusting" she heard one of them mumble loudly so she would hear.

"Your face is disgusting" she said loudly before collapsing on her bed. She magically closed her hangings and put an unopenable charm on them. She didn't want them to extract revenge on her while she was asleep.

She remembered when she first arrived at hogwarts, those girls were nice to her. They were even her so called friends until it became known that James Potter and Sirius Black didn't like her. Then coupled with the daily pranks and the rumors, any reputation that Lily Evans had became nonexistent. It didn't help when she started hanging out with Slytherins in second year. Then she stopped caring in third year and since then blended into the shadows unless it was to get picked on. Now she was absolutely numb to all of them.

**_Yeah I know it was hella short but please review anyway!_**

**_Lyla_**


	4. Pour your Misery Down on Me

**AN: Here's Chapter 4**

Remus walked slowly through the empty seventh corridor away from the gryffindor common room. His birthday was in two weeks. In two weeks, his search for his mate will end and the mating section of his life will begin.

"Gah I hate my life" he mumbled.

There was always something there to loom over him when regarding his friends. He was extremely surprised when they took his lycanthropy so well. He was ecstatic when they decided to become animangi to help him through his transformations.

'All good things must come to end I guess' he thought to himself.

"There is no way he'll accept being my mate, I'm destined to live life alone" he mumbled to himself.

"Who?" someone said from his side. Remus quickly turned his head towards the owner of the voice to see James there smiling mischievously.

"Uhhhn" Remus replied . 'should I tell him. He's going to find out eventually, with Sirius' he thought to himself.

"Oh come on moony, you can tell me. I already know it's a bloke, you just mumbled it. It isn't Snape is it? I think I would have to kill you to save you from a life with that git" James said jokingly.

"No its not Snape..." he replied.

"Then its..."James said

"...Its Padfoot" Remus said looking down.

"Really? Hahahah wow, that's pretty wicked" James said still smiling. 'Why did I never see it before?' he thought to himself.

"You're ok with it? I mean you're not weirded out er anything like that?" Remus asked in disbelief.

"Really Moony I'm disappointed in you, you've known me for six years. Im not going to shun you away cause you and my other best friend are going to be shagging and have little canine babies. Contrary to what Evans likes to say about me, I am not ignorant" James said clapping his friend on the back.

"I know prongs, sorry. I guess I just have issues with acceptance still" he said sheepishly.

"That's alright mate, I understand. So when are you gunna let Padfoot know?" James asked curiously.

"I dunno yet"Remus said sighing.

"Well just don't wait to tell him when you start ravishing him the day after your birthday, give him a little warning so he can properly enjoy it" James said winking.

"You think he'll be alright with it?" Remus asked with worry invading his tone.

"Course he will, its Padfoot" James said.

Before Remus could reply, his nose was attacked with an astounding scent. He recognized it, but couldn't put his finger on it. He followed to scent using his wolf instincts and ended up at a door. James trailing behind him.

"That's the room of requirement" James announced.

"It smells funny, and there is a strange noise coming from inside. Should we go in?" Remus asked, but James was way ahead of him,. He wenched open the door and they stumbled into a smoke filled room with the door promptly shutting behind them.

Remus realized what he had been sniffing out.

Marijuana.

He could already feel himself feel lighter from inhaling the smoke. The sounds he was hearing were coming from a record player. It was muggle music, Remus could tell right away, being a half-blood.

"Argh bloody hell"James mumbled next to him, he was holding his head, apparently he took the fall a lot worse than he did.

"LOOK ITS MY TWO FAVORITE PEOPLE IN THE WHOLE WORLD" a voice shouted above the music. Remus and James looked up to see their best friend stumbling towards them with a goofy smile plastered to his face and his usually intense gray eyes were shadowed with red under his heavy eye lids.

Remus looked around the room, multicolored lights were bouncing off the walls and the floor was covered with large fluffy pillows. The record player was situated in the center of the room and next to it was a head of long dark red hair. Lily was there with her head bent over something.

"Padfoot what's going on?" James said loudly. His voice seemed distant, he was feeling the affects of the smoke.

Sirius plopped onto the pillows next to them and started giggling.

"Heheheh This rock and roll music is bloody wicked, Evans said she would let me listen but since muggle devices don't work on castle grounds, we had to come in here. Then she realized that the room came with a bunch of these weeds, or whatever. Evans got really happy and transfigured a pillow into something called a bong. Apparently you smoke it and it makes you high" Sirius said before surrendering to another fit of giggles.

Remus and James looked at each other and dragged their friend to where the quiet redhead was sitting.

She looked up and smiled through her heavy lidded eyes. Then she held out to Remus so he could take the dark purple glass bong from her hand.

"Here Rem smoke a bowl" she mumbled.

"Lily, What if someone comes in?" Remus asked.

"Don't worry about it, I made it so only me and Marauders can come in" she said laughing. Remus looked over at James who was staring at Lily as though he had never seen her laugh before.

'Come to think of it he probably hasn't 'Remus thought before lowering his head to inhale the smoke, he watched the burning leaves in the small bowl shrivel up as he felt his mind become hazy. Suddenly everything seemed different, like he was watching a movie at the cinema.

He gave the bong back to lily and she took it, emptying out the ashes and refilling it . She then crawled over the pillows to sit next to James.

"Have you ever gotten high before potter?" she asked merrily.

"No" he replied looking at her questioningly.

"Do you want to try it?" she asked unknowingly letting her voice become husky.

"Yes" he said bravely, averting his eyes from her lips.

"Alright then, here." she said handing him the bong.

He looked confused and she rolled her eyes and moved his hands to the right positions. He tried to ignore the tingly sensations that she left behind on his skin.

She was completely oblivious to everything but her task at hand. She brought out her wand and mumbled a spell. A small flame appeared at the end of it. She lowered his head so his lips were sucking on the opening at the top of the purple glass.

She then lowered her wand to the small bowl where the lush green leaves were located.

"Suck and inhale" she whispered in his ear. He obeyed and felt the harsh smoke enter his lungs. He immediately coughed up the smoke and took in a large breath. He felt a small hand rubbing his back until he regained his composure.

"Try agin if you want and avoid coughing" she said lowering her wand again.

They did this two more times before James could get used to not coughing. Eventually the leaves burned up leaving a bowl of ash

He looked around in awe, the lights on the walls felt like they were going to attack him and the music in the background felt like it was pounding in his head.

"Good job potter" he heard the girl to his left mumble before she crawled away.

When she arrived at her original pillow. She set down the bong and looked at her companions. Sirius was inching his way over to a dazed looking Remus and James was sitting on his pillow with an adorably confused look in his face.

She looked at the Jimi Hendrix Record in the record player and took it out, replacing it with her Favorite Led Zeppelin Record, Houses of the Holy. She put it to her favorite song No Quarter and crawled back over to James because he was staring at her looking lonely.

She glanced over to Remus and Sirius to see them talking.

" Remusssssss hehehehhe I gots somethingg to tell you hehehhehe" Sirius said plopping down on Remus' pillow.

"Heh me too paddy" Remus replied looking at Sirius' lap.

"I wanna go first" Sirius demanded like a spoiled child.

"Ok" Remus replied wanting nothing more than to please his soon to be mate.

"I... hehehehe I'm hungry"Sirius said happily.

"Me too" Remus said recognizing the dull pain in his abdomen. He turned his head, letting his eyes adjust to the changing lights, he saw lily sitting down a little bit away. He reached out his hand and tugged on a strand of her dark hair.

She turned questioningly toward her attacker.

"Yeah" she drawled sounding strangely American.

"We're hungry" he said pouting slightly.

"Awe crap, this room didn't come with food... I'll go to the kitchens to get snacks" Lily muttered.

She stood up wobbly and straitened her clothes out and started slowly walking to the door, James stood up and followed her while Sirius started moving along to the sound of Led Zeppelins voice.

Once outside she took a deep breath and looked side to side, no one was there. Suddenly James stumbled out of the room and ran into her grabbing her waist for support. They both broke out into a fit of giggles.

"Duude this is so trippy" she muttered mimicking Erick's voice that seemed to be playing in her head.

James didn't know what was going on, he had yet to realize that he was using Lily to brace himself as they slowly made they're way to the kitchens. The castle seemed scarier, it was starting to rain outside and a cold breeze flew through the corridor.

Lily's eyes were darting everywhere in panic she was somewhat aware of James' warm hands on her, but she ignored it and tried to keep her step.

They came the familiar painting of fruit and James giggled while he reached up and tickled the pear.

They stepped in and were met with a group of busy houselves who were preparing dinner.

A small creature saw them and hurried over bowing its large head.

"Umm we want food..." James said trailing off looking at Lily for help.

"We want cookies and brownies, potato chips, soda pop, pumpkin juice, a pizza, some pretzels and an apple ...please" lily said listing off all of the food she was craving.

"Right away miss" the houself before snapping its fingers and producing a pile of all the food Lily requested.

"Thanks" she mumbled before taking the one apple off the top and biting it, she shrunk the food and put it in an empty tin box that she found in her pocket. Eating the apple with moan of pleasure she turned her eyes to her companion who was staring at her with undisguised lust.

James watched with horrid fascination as Lily bit the juicy apple, her lush lips moving and a pink tongue catching the juice that escaped her mouth.

He felt his body react, but couldn't think about anything other than her lips and how good they would feel...

"Potter" she said pushing him slightly on his hard chest trying to get his attention.

He looked at her hand on him and then back at her he started to lean in slightly before he heard a loud crash breaking him out of his stupor.

They both looked to see a houself being scolded by another houself.

"Lets go" she murmured walking out of the kitchen with James in tow.

They walked back to the room of requirement quietly.

When they arrived at their destination, Lily was vaguely aware of the fact that James was still staring at her.

"Why the fuck are you staring at me Potter?" she asked giving him a sideways glance.

He didn't answer her, he just continued to stare at her, like he was trying to solve a puzzle.

He came up behind her and sniffed her hair while moaning slightly.

"Hey, stop sniffing me, I feel violated" she mumbled making no move to get him away from her.

He rested his hand on her hips gripping slightly. She closed her eyes and let out a struggled breath.

Suddenly she opened her eyes and reached for the door nob and out of his touch.

"You have a girlfriend" she muttered going inside the room.

He looked up in confusion and then heard high pitched voices coming down the hall, he looked to his right to see a group of girls being led by a skinny brunette with long legs.

He didn't think twice about opening the door and falling inside once she spotted him.

He noticed all the food had been laid out and Remus and Sirius were eating everything up at an alarming rate. His stomach grumbled at the sight of food, and he stumbled over and grabbed a pastie that was nearest to him.

Lily got up as soon as they were all engrossed in food and made her way to the door unseen. She stumbled out and headed for the slytherin common room.

_Dear Diary..._

_Winter break starts in two days, its been about a week since I smoked out the marauders, they haven't bullied me in a while. I think they liked it. Severus and Lucius are coming to see me perform. Remus even asked me about my gigs, I hope he doesn't bring Potter and Black, I don't need to give them more material to make fun of me with. Potter has been dating this last girlfriend of his for more than two weeks, that's apparently a record for him. Not much else is new, I've managed to officially de-virginize the cute nerdy kid from Ravenclaw the other day. I wrote a couple more songs and right now I lead a boring life. Sorry future self and Erick._

_Lily_

Lily put away her journal and decided to head down to breakfast for once since she had a bout of insomnia last night and she couldn't sleep.

She passed and ignored the looks from her dormates. As she passed the mirror she gave her reflection a disgusted look.

'Gods, Im hideous' she thought as she fixed her shoulder strap.

She walked down the stairs into the semi empty common and out into the corridor. She kept walking through to the familiar route to the doors that used to be bane of her existence. The great hall.

She used to love to eat. It felt nice to eat stuff that tasted so good when everything around her felt crappy. But then she realized that she would have to give one more thing that she liked because it was getting out of control.

She hadn't been in the great hall since the welcoming feast, but she had snorted coke in the carriage before she got to the castle. She was tripping out instead of eating and since her friends were at another table, no one paid attention to her anyway.

Lily walked through the large double doors. She did a quick look around and noticed Severus and Lucius staring at her in surprise.

She smirked at them and went to the empty part of the Gryffindor table.

Grabbing toast and some coffee she sat in silence, as usual. She didn't even notice an owl flying toward her until it nearly ran into her head.

It was her father's owl. Yes he had an owl, he didn't buy her one, but he had one for his own personal pleasure.

She gave the owl the other half of her toast as she took the letter off its leg.

She recognized Her Fathers stationary and sighed in dread,.

_Lilith,_

_Yesterday you're step mother gave birth to a boy, Michael Evans. Since the baby is born, you may stay with us this holiday if you wish. We will be hosting a celebration party within the next week that you will be expected to attend. Write back with your decision._

_, your father_

_Anthony Evans_

Lily always found it amusing that he singed his name under "your Father" as though she forgot who her dad was.

She ripped off a piece of parchment and wrote a small response stating that she would arriving at Kings Cross in two days. She knew her dad would be irritated by the informal letter but she didn't care.

She watched the owl fly away and gathered her things. She stood up and walked out of the great hall.

She was walking down the empty corridor when she was suddenly grabbed by the arm into and empty class room.

She angrily turned around to face her most recent fling. The Ravenclaw nerd.

He was rather handsome, tall and lanky, glasses, pale blue eyes and light brown hair. He had a cute boyish face, but up until a couple days ago he couldn't bring himself to talk to a girl let alone grab one into an empty classroom.

"What do you want Thomas?" she asked irritated. She hated it when they got clingy.

"W...wel.well I was thinking that maybe you would want to be my girlfriend... you since we ..." he trailed off blushing.

"Look kid, I don't do relationships" she said before turning for the door.

He grabbed her wrist again tightly. He turned steered her into a wall and pressed himself against her.

"You're very beautiful" he murmured into her hair.

"Heh you gunna rape me?" she asked in a bored tone.

"Its not rape if you want it. And whose says you don't" he whispered reaching around her and reaching into her skirt.

"I don't have time for this" she whispered irritated to all hell.

'You fuck them once and they suddenly think they own you' she thought before concentrating on her magic. She brought it to her hands that were being held behind her. He was using her trapped hands to rub himself.

He started kissing her neck and she smirked before concentrating on a spell she learned last summer.

Suddenly he bit down on her shoulder in pain. She slightly winced but kept concentrating.

"Ahhh stop it" he said in a voice that was unnaturally high.

" awe you don't want to play anymore?" she asked mockingly. Her magic was burning his groin and would keep burning for hours or until he passed out from pain.

The spell was rather affective, it didn't leave marks or anything, it was completely internal.

He crouched on the floor and started sobbing.

"Im sorry, I'll never touch you again... just STOP IT" he cried out desperately.

"no" she said simply before wrenching open the door and smiling as she headed for her first class, she was only happy when it got complicated.

**So thats it, Review and tell me what you think... hate it? love it? what? ... come on people I know you can do it**.


	5. Happy Home

**AN: Here's chapter 5**

Lily pulled her black coat tightly around her shivering form as she glanced at he large clock for the millionth time in the past hour.

Her father was late as usual. But after an hour and a half she had the sinking feeling that he wouldn't show up.

"fucking bastard" she muttered as she walked into an empty alley so she could apparate.

With a soft pop she disappeared from the cold alley and reappeared on a snowy street. The scene looked like it belonged on the front of a Christmas card.

Walking up the trail to the largest house and letting her boots crunch the snow beneath her, she mentally braced herself for what she would find inside the picture perfect house.

She came up to the door where a large merry reef mocked her. She raised her hand and knocked loudly.

She heard movement behind the door and was face to face with er father in record time. He gathered her in an awkward one sided hug that she assumed was for any spying neighbors. Everyone in the neighborhood was wary of her.

He pulled her inside and promptly ignored her by walking straight into the den. She took this as a grand opportunity to walk upstairs since she was most likely not wanted.

She found the semi familiar door to her room. She walked in an took in her surroundings, it was exactly as she left it. No doubt because everyone in the house is scared that they'd be cursed in horrible ways upon entering the doorway.

Her off white walls were bare with the exception of the few posters she managed to hang up. All of her furnature was dusty with misuse and her bed was still undone.

She walked over to the window, stepping over empty cigarette containers and empty bottles in th process.

She could see the garden that her mother used to tend to when she was smaller. It was buried in snow as was the small swing that she used when she was a little girl.

Turning away from the frosty window, Lily stumbled over to her bed and plopped down causing a large cloud of dust to rise. She accidently inhaled and started coughing uncontrollably. Rolling off the bed onto all fours she hacked away until she felt bile burn her throat.

Taking out her wand she muttered a cleaning spell and all of the dust disappeared with a snap.

She let out a heavy sigh as she laid on her bed again.

Suddenly she heard a loud cry, it sounded like an injured cat. Lily grabbed her pillow and buried her face in it to keep the noise out. It didn't work.

She got up and looked for her record player. It was the only thing missing from her room and she was more than livid.

Wrenching her bedroom door open and stalking toward where the cries were coming from, lily prepared herself for coming into contact with her.

Lily thumped down the stairs and was met with a strange sight. Her father was sitting in his usuall chair reading a book and her stepmother was knitting. There was a carraige at the other end of the room and in between the two adults. Sitting on a neat little bookshelf was her record player.

They were playing a jazz record. It was so loud they didn't even notice that she walked in the room. She could still here the cries even though they were faint.

She walked over to the crib an peeked inside. There a small little baby lay bundled in purple blankets. The baby had light brown hair and it looked as though he would have pale green eyes.

The baby looked up at lily and immediately stopped crying. He just stared at her stiff sniffling.

Lily felt very odd and she quickly moved away. Suddenly the music stopped. Lily turned around to see her father staring at her expectantly. She was suddenly shoved out of the way very hard. She felt herself stumble onto the floor and she looked up to see her step mother looking into the crib.

"What did you do to him?" she hissed glaring at the girl lying the floor.

"I didn't do anything" lily snapped back as she raised herself from the floor.

"Get away from him you snarly little freak!" the dirty blonde hair woman shrieked. Lily turned to her father who was as usual ignoring the scene.

"Fuck this" lily uttered as she ran back upstairs. She un-shrunk her trunk and rummaged through the bottom. She brought out two vials of bright purple liquid.

"This should help me forget" lily mumbled as she drank the contents of each vial and immediately passed out on the floor.

**I know this chapter was like extremely short but please review anyway!**


	6. Black Eyeliner Run

Lily crept clumsily down the stairs. Her green eyes darting from side to side in paranoia

She was wearing her thick black peacoat and her guitar as usual was strapped to her back. Getting to the bottom of the stairs she peaked through the curtains to the street out front.

She let out a struggled sigh of relief when she saw a small car with her friend Sid in the driver's seat.

"Where do you think your going?" Someone said from behind her as she reached for the doorknob.

"Shit" she mumbled when she turned around to see her step mother. The older woman had perfect brown curls that sat perfectly on her shoulders and her beady clear blue eyes glared at Lily through her false eyelashes.

"I'm going out" Lily mumbled distractedly giving the woman a disturbingly blank stare.

"Ugh does your father know about this?" Her step mother said nastily

"Um, I told.. I told..him... but I ... I don't ...think ...think he remembers..." she said scratching her head while trying to form sentences through her foggy mind.

"What is wrong with you? Ugh you disgusting little slut, you're probably going off to sell yourself on the streets like the rat you are" she replied sneering at Lily.

"I haven't ...decided to follow your footsteps yet ...step mother" Lily said half angrily. The woman looked outraged.

"Anthony!" she shrieked. Lily scoffed and lazily turned around opening the door.

"ANTHONY GET OVER HERE!" she heard her step mother yell as she walked down the pathway, swaying from side to side.

"LILITH WHERE ARE YOU GOING?" she heard her father shout from behind her. She turned to see him walking after her angrily.

Widening her emerald eyes in fear she broke into a fast run. Her lace up boots making dull stomps on the slick pavement.

"DON'T YOU DARE RUN OFF WITH THAT FILTHY JUNKIE!" she heard her father shout after her.

Wrenching the car door open she quickly got in.

"GO!" she said loudly. Sid nodded and stepped on the gas speeding away.

"Im bored" Sirius announced from his place on the sofa.

"Me too" James said sprawled out on the floor.

"I told you guys my house is boring when my relatives come over. We cant do shite here, its too crowded" Remus muttered.

They were all hiding out in Remus' bedroom. His house was filled with his relatives that were staying for the holidays.

Since James' parents went on a holiday cruise, they let James stay for the holiday break. Sirius just didn't go home as usual.

"Lets go somewhere" Sirius said after another five minutes of silence.

"Where?" James asked.

"Anywhere" Sirius mumbled.

"Well... we could go see a show" Remus said.

"What kind of show?" James asked

"Who cares lets go!" Sirius said jumping up.

"We have to dress like muggles" Remus said

"Well... we could always borrow yer clothes" James said.

"Yeah I didn't bring muggle garb" Sirius said.

"Well my muggle clothes is ripped and worn because I wear it during my transformations... and well most of it is really small because I haven't gotten new clothes in a while" Remus said embarrassed.

"That's alright moony, we can pull it off" James said smiling.

" too right.. We are good looking chaps, we can pull off anything" Sirius said happily.

"So where are we going?" James asked when Remus stated rummaging through his wardrobe.

"London" he said tossing a pair a jeans to each of them.

**Please review!**


	7. Phenomena

**I purposely misspelled words in the lyrics to emphasize the way she is singing. So no, I'm not completely dyslexic. I suggest listening to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Phenomena and No No No. Just to verify I don't own any of it. **

Lily tossed back her head and emptied the clear bottle.

"All right Lily we're going on after this last song" She heard Jazmin say loudly. She nodded her head in acknowledgment and glanced to her left.

Sid was smoking a joint so she reached over and plucked it from his fingers.

After taking a long drag she handed it back to him. He nodded his head, making his large mass of dark blond hair bob as he mindlessly played with his bass .

"Are there a lot of people?" Lily asked slightly trembling. She was always nervous before a show.

It was understandable, she was about to sing her heart out in front of a room full of people who were most likely as angry as her.

"Yeah, its full. And there's a mosh pit" Adrian replied as he joined them. His guitar strapped across his chest. He gave Jazmin a quick kiss before she took the last drag of her cigarette.

"The Death Eaters are really popular." Sid mumbled hearing the cheers.

"Yeah, Tom Riddle pretty crazy on stage. People love him" Lily said in a low tone.

"People love you too. You're different Lily. We're just as popular as them" Jazmin said reassuringly.

Suddenly a group of sweaty guys stumbled toward them from the stage. A couple of them nodded in acknowledgment, others clapped Sid and Adrian on the shoulders, Tom Riddle, the lead singer, just walked past them like a zombie.

"Ok guys we're on" Jazmin said smiling brightly and gripping her drumsticks for dear life.

Adrian led them out, followed by Jazmin who took her spot at the drumset, then Sid who was looking down at his bass the entire time.

Then Lily came out holding another bottle of liquor with her guitar behind her. She took her place behind the microphone and stared out into the mass of sweaty, hyper and impatient fans.

She suddenly saw three unwanted but familiar faces near the front of the stage. She heard Jazmin's drumstick hit the skins and she clenched her eyes tightly.

Taking another drink from her bottle she set it down and stared into the hazel eyes, slightly hidden by fogged glasses, that inspired most of her heartbreaking songs.

O.o

James never thought that he could get this turned on from watching a girl standing there.

He never thought he would get turned on my Lily Evans at all.

But there she was ...standing there, and there he was trying desperately to ignore his body's obvious reactions.

She was wearing a short black dress with electric blue tights underneath. She wore her usual black combat boots and her hair was straight. Her mysterious eyes were shadowed in black and she had dark blood red lipstick highlighting her lips.

He nearly stepped into Sirius when her eyes found his. She gave him a peculiar look before closing her eyes and taking a deep drink from the bottle she was holding.

Everyone around him was shouting and cheering.

He heard the drums start followed by guitar and he watched her grab the microphone with a tight grip.

O.o

"Hey!" she said loudly ranging her voice from raspy to high.

She waited for Adrian, Sid and Jazmin to set the rhythm.

"Don't touch, KID! ... Sleep with the lights on. Touch. Kid... how you surprise me now roooooll kid... knock your body off!" She sang making her voice stretch strangely while she rolled her hips with the tempo.

"You're. Somethin'. Like a phen-ah-me-nah. Somethin' like an astra-ne-maah, Now Roooll kid!... Knock your body off!" she sang repeating her hip motion and making her voice sound weird. From the sound of the audience she could tell they were enjoying it.

"Somethin' like a phe-na-me-nah babe...you're somethin' like a phe-na-me-naah... somethin' like a phe-na-me-nah babe... you're gunna get yer booody offf!" she paused her singing to let Adrian go into a break down.

She threw a glance at Sid who was still looking down, Jazmin looked like she was having a blast and Adrian was concentrating on his guitar.

"Don't fall asleeeeep with the moonlight! ..she'll make you sweat in the water... don't fall asleep with the moonlight! She'll make you sweat in the waateeer" she sang grabbing the microphone off the stand and bending over towards the crowd. Her alcoholic buzz gave her the confidence to stare into James Potter's eyes as she sang.

After waiting for Sid and Adrian to be done she took another breath

"Hot time kid!"

"Hot time kid" she was walking backwards toward Sid.

"Its cold under the blaaanket!"

"They loved it!"

"They shot it"she made an imaginary gun with her hand and shot it off.

"The fastest ran and got it!"she was almost out of breath but she didn't care.

"That story! that ease my!" she took a quick breath.

"They hide it up the sleeves my"

"They hide it!"

"They HIDE it"she bent over again

"They're never gunna find iiiiiit!" she let Sid and Adrian break down again as she moving around the strange letting her body twist to the sounds of the music.

O.o

James was trying to pay attention to the redhead vixen on stage and not get smashed into the ground which was turning out to be very difficult.

Ugh the way she was moving her body, his mind was in circles, not to mention that the jeans he was wearing were far to tight to begin with, but now they seemed to be cutting off his circulation.

Suddenly the song ended and She took the chance to gulp down some more from the bottle at her feet.

She grabbed the microphone again once the really skinny girl started to play the drums at a fast pace.

O.o

Adrian started in with the guitar after a while. She silently moved her head to the beat waiting.

"Well I'm frozen!" she sang loudly in a high voice.

"Like a soooooilder" she let her voice imitate the drum beat.

"Don't know where it stays all ohhh-ver the place" she made sure she let out an orgasmic sound when she said over.

"Time froze!"

"Like an ohhhh-cean"another orgasmic sound.

"Don't know the taste of a never ending ache" she let the top half of her body bend low with her voice. Suddenly she stood up straight again briefly remembering why she wrote the song

"No, NO , NO ...NOOO!" her voice was grounding into the microphone. She used to scream like that when she was little.

"Why I hurry when I'm Home" her voice was breaking down with Jazmin's beat and Sid and Adrian let their playing get heavier.

"I hurry when I'm home" she didn't really have a home.

"No, No, No, NO!"

"Why I hurry when I'm home...I'll go...ohhhhh I'll gooooooo" Adrian and Sid played off each other for the break down.

She was moving her body to the music waiting for her turn to sing.

"Hey... come on now...heeeey" she couldn't help but sing randomly. She had to get the feeling off her chest.

The music somewhat slowed down and she knew it was soon so she took a deep breath.

"Its really not bad not worse than you thought he'll never come back he's the man you dropped he'll never come back he's the man you looooved" she took another breath.

"Ha... ha... ha... ha... ha" she felt like hyperventilating.

"Its really not bad not worse than you thought he'll never come he's the man you dropped he'll never come back he's the man you loooooved" her daddy.

"I told her ..." her mommy.

"I TOLD HER!" she couldn't breath

"I'll go" they never let go

"I told her"

"I TOLD HER!" the music was getting heavier again.

"I told HER NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOO HEY!" She felt the music starting to crash in her mind as memories started to show and she shook her head to try and stop it.

"No NO NO no..." the chorus again

"Why I hurry when I'm home"

"I hurry when I'm home I'll go"

"No. No. No. No."

"I'll hurry when I'm home I'll go!"

"Ohhhhh I'll goooo" another breakdown

"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" she bent her head down pressing her lips softly into the microphone waiting for her other bandmates to obey.

Adrian did a cool little psychedelic thing with his guitar.

"I told her" she whispered.

"I told her" she said softly.

"I told her I'll go..." she trailed off letting Adrian do another psychedelic thing with his guitar while Jazmin led a slow but hard beat.

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha " she was hyperventilating again and she could feel her mind becoming altered.

She swayed across the stage mumbling lyrics and grabbing her hair while Adrian and Sid both did more tricks with their instruments, including distortion.

" I told her...I'llllll goooooo" she sang softly.

"No no no no no no... no no no no no" she mumbled.

"Heeyyyy" she said bringing the microphone close to her and then bringing it away and then the music ended.


	8. Empire

**Listening Suggestions : (band)Kasabian; (1st song) The Doberman; (2nd Song) Empire, both off the Empire Album. I dont own the lyrics or the characters.**

Lily brought her guitar to its rightful place and hit the starting cord for their next song. She set the slow beat.

Leaning up into the microphone that was once again on its stand she waited for the right time to start.

"Silence in the yard" she sang slowly.

"Doberman's asleep" her childhood dog.

"You'll never have to lay you're head down here" her voice was scratching.

"Watch them disappear" they always disappeared.

"The truth is they never had no future" This song was about her parents.

"They never had no past"this time Adrian sang with her.

"I was alone" she was always alone.

"I was alone again" her voice was echoing around the room

The tempo got a little faster.

"This beat on London's sky" she always wished she could fly away.

"Whiskey's almost dry"she stole her daddy's liquor when she was 10.

"I smile 'cause I've already escaped" she used to drink until she couldn't walk and she would lay outside staring up at the sky.

"Just like to see how far I can take it" she liked to push the limits.

"They never had no future" Adrian was singing with her again

"They never had no past" she clenched her eyes close to stop the tears from coming.

"I was alone"

"I was alone again"The music was getting heavier.

"They never had no future" She did a fast riff.

"They never had no past"

"I was alone" she was always alone

"I was alone again" The beat was getting faster.

It was getting faster and faster while Lily and Sid and Adrian were mumbling incoherently into their respective microphones.

They did that for about a minute.

Then the music slowed down.

"Silence in the yard" she sang intensely.

"Doberman's asleep"

"You'll never have to lay your head down here" she was in her own personal hell.

"Watch them disappear" her entire family.

Then the music slowed down to a stop

O.o

James looked at his peer on stage.

He never knew that she was that deep. He always viewed her as the mousy and chubby little nerd who hung out with Slytherins because she was a loser.

She didn't have a conventional voice, it was scratchy but it was filled so much emotion that James felt like crying every time she sang.

"I didn't know she could sing" Sirius muttered.

"You guys don't know a lot of things, neither do I" Remus mumbled as they all watched her take another gulp from the large glass bottle.

"We should get to know her" Sirius said.

"Would she want to get to know us?" James asked

O.o

"All right ! This is our last song so you better fucking enjoy it!" she yelled into the microphone.

The crowd cheered in reply.

Lily started playing her guitar and she set the beat with Jasmine's drum beat.

She leaned to microphone and started to sing.

" Too much information. Well I said you're good for nothing. Come on to the back. I said your needless good for something. Guess I'd better sell you now. Guess I'll bet I'll be around" Sid and Adrian had joined in now.

"Singing for your questions. But you've stolen all my answers. Too much entertainment drove my knights out of their cornor." she had too many cowards trying to be her knight in shining armor.

"Tell me that you've seen a ghost. I'll tell you what to fear the most" She let her voice follow the beat and she was almost talking into the microphone.

"STOP!" she yelled as the music got heavier.

"I said its happening again!" this was about one of her ex boyfriends.

"We're all wasting away!" Jasmine staring ooooing in the background.

"We're all waaaisttting awaaaaaay-heeey-heeeey" Sid sang along with her.

They broke off and did a break down while lily did a small solo. They slowed down and Lily went back to the microphone.

"Too much information. Well I said your good for nothing." she looked directly at Sirius smirked.

"Stitch a part your counterfeit. I sent you out for huntin'" this was her favorite song to sing.

"Taking at the roads. Where you're taken for the simple codes."She barely had time to breathe

"Swimmin' with the fishes while the serpent waves his tongue."

"With a belly full of splinters, now you see that I'm the one" she looked at James again.

"Tell me that you've seen a ghost, I'll tell you what to fear most"

"STOP" Sid was singing with her again.

"I said its happenin' AGAIN!"

"We're all wasting away!"

"We're all wastin' awaaaay-heeey-heeeeeeeeeeey!"

They stopped singing and did another instrumental thing. Lily walked over to Sid's microphone slowly while she still concentrated on her playing.

They all stopped playing except for Adrian. Then Jasmine starting letting for her voice go crazy as she ranted incoherently into the microphone while slowly building up the tempo.

"STOP" Lily yelled with Sid in his microphone.

"I SAID ITS HAPPENIN' AGAIN!"

"WE'RE ALL WASTIN' AWAY!!!"

"WE'RE ALL WASTING AWAAAAAAY-HEEEEY-HEEEEEY!!!!!!!!!"

Then they all stopped at once.

They waved to the crowd and made their way backstage.

Lily clung to her bottle and they all found spots on the floor to collapse on.

Suddenly the guiatarist from the death eaters came over to sid.

"Hey mate you guys were pretty trippy. We're going on tour this summer, we need another band. Want to join?" he asked. Sid lazlily looked over to Jasmine who looked at Adrian who looked at Lily.

"Sure" Lily said hoarsly. Her voice was warn.

"Wicked we'll be in touch. Who's your manager?" he asked.

" umm, well... thing is he's uhh.." Lily said trying to come up with an excuse through her drunken mind.

"I'm their Manager" someone said from behind her. She closed her eyes in annoyance because she recognized the voice instantly.

"All right then Its all set" he said walking away.

**REVIEW!**


	9. My candle Burns

**Thanks for the reviews!**

"Hey Evans… what's a manager?" Sirius said kneeling down next to Lily.

She narrowed her eyes and took the chance to smack him in the back of the head.

"Ow what was that for?" he asked offended.

"You're retarded! What the hell are you doing here?" she exclaimed angrily. Taking another drink she leaned against the wall behind her.

" Where's your bloody entourage?" she asked not letting him reply.

"Jamesie is right here," he said pointing his finger to his left and smirking.

Right behind Lily.

"Fuck" she muttered loudly. She looked behind her to see that what she thought was a wall was actually James Potter's legs.

"How the hell did you fucks get back here?" she asked not moving from her comfortable position on James' legs.

"Well Moony had to use the loo and we kinda got a little lost" James replied

"Great. Now I'm stuck you two jackasses and you don't even have your keeper" lily muttered raucously.

"Hey, Moony isn't our master" Sirius pouting.

"Oh yeah I forgot… you only want him to be your master. Didn't know you like that kinda thing Black," she said before giggling.

"Ahem… Lily who the fuck are these Nuts?" Jasmine asked loudly.

"I am Sirius Black and this is my trusty side kick James" Sirius said proudly earning another smack in the head from James.

"I'm going to get brain damage from all this abuse" he said rubbing his head and fixing his hair.

"I didn't know you had a brain to damage" Lily muttered.

"You know Evans, you talk a lot when you're drunk" James said.

"Shut the fuck up Potter, I'm never sober. I just hate you," she said waving her bottle around.

"And the feeling is mutual" he snarled.

"How did you fucks get here anyway?" Lily asked.

"We told you, we got lost" James said in an irritated tone

"And you just happened to stumble in here where my band is performing, how did get here in the first place." Lily said motioning around her.

"Hey there you guys are" Remus said walking up to them.

"What the fuck… is it that easy to get backstage? This place is cheap" Lily muttered.

"Have you forgotten what we are Evans?" James said suddenly too close to her ear.

"A pack of deranged idiots? No I don't think I could forget that if I tried" Lily muttered back.

"We're the Marauders" James said ignoring her last comment.

"So kid ya know a lot about Music? Are you Persuasive… pushy and downright asshole," Sid asked Sirius before taking a drag of his cigarette.

"At times yes" Sirius answered casually.

Sid looked at Adrian who looked at Jasmine who looked at Lily.

"What?" she asked

"We do need a manager, since ya know… Ian left" Adrian said awkwardly.

Lily closed her eyes at the mention of their ex-manager… and her ex-boyfriend.

'He is gay so I don't think we'll have a problem with me' Lily thought with her eyes still closed.

" Perfect. What's yer name again?" Sid said before Lily even opened her eyes again.

" Sirius Black" Sirius said curious as to what they were talking about.

"Ok Black… Talk to Lily, she'll fill you in with the details. Welcome to the Band" Sid said standing up.

"Yeah man thanks… we'll see you soon" Adrian said also standing up and helping Jazzy get up.

"Since everyone is too rude to introduce themselves, I'm Jazzy, the drummer, this is my boyfriend Adrian, he plays guitar, and that's Sid, he's bass. You already know Lily. She's the singer and guitarist." Jaz said giggling slightly when she almost fell.

"Hey Lily are you going to need a ride home?" Adrian asked.

"Umm yeah" Lily muttered nearly falling asleep.

"Well Sid and I are going to head off to a party with The Staples and Fake It. You wanna come?" Adrian asked holding onto Jasmine so she wouldn't fall.

Lily muttered incoherently and leaned against James sleepily.

" We could take her home. I'm fine to drive and we'll make sure she gets there all right," Remus said.

"You guys are gay right? You wont rape her while she's like this?" Adrian asked attempting to be menacing.

"Us rape Evans that's a laugh" Sirius said disgusted with mental picture he was getting.

"Yeah you're right, she'd probably break your cock before you even get the chance. Well see ya later" Adrian said picking Jasmine up bridal style and following Sid through the crowd of people.

"Do you know where Evans lives Moony?" James asked as he supported Lily.

"Umm, London?" Remus said awkwardly.

" Well lets get her out of here" James said picking her up and trying to arrange her and her guitar in a proper way.

"I'll take this" Sirius said picking up Lily's almost empty bottle.

"Lily where do you live?" Remus asked prodding Lily awake.

"In Hell…. on Doberman Avenue" Lily muttered. James and Remus exchanged a look.

"Well that's easy, its two streets away from me" Remus said leading the way.

"So Prongs…. What's a manager?" Sirius asked as they walked outside.

**Please Review !**


	10. At Both Ends

**I'm so sorrrrrry its been forever**

"Prongs wake lily up... I don't know which house is hers" Remus said from the driver's seat.

"Hey Evans... Wake up" James said slightly shaking the redhead's shoulder. All he got was a mumbled response before she leaned into his embrace searching for his body heat.

"Hey come on... get up" he said gripping her again. She grumbled and opened her eyes.

"What?" she mumbled closing her eyes again.

"What house do you live in?" Remus asked loudly.

He too received a mumbled response.

"What did she say?" James asked out loud.

"Cookie cutter" replied a very drunk Sirius from the passenger's seat.

Remus and James both looked at him in confusion as he took another long drink from Lily's bottle.

"Give me that Padfoot" Remus said gently, prying the bottle from Sirius' hands.

"Hey Evans wake up!" Sirius yelled before dissolving into a fit of giggles.

"It's at the end dipshits..." she muttered snuggling further into James' warmth. He was having a difficult time keeping his erection at bay with her rubbing into him like that.

"Umm left or right?" James asked ignoring her scented hair.

"Neither" she mumbled.

"OHHH I SEE IT!" Sirius exclaimed excitedly pointing to the large house at the end of the road.

Remus drove to the front of the house and stopped the car.

"What do we do now?" James asked.

"Um… well we have to get her inside. Think her parents are home?" Remus asked awkwardly.

"Cant we just take her to your place… I don't really want to find out if Mr. Evans is a nice man or not" James said.

"Well I guess, ask her first" Remus said remembering her band mate's tone of voice.

"Hey Evans…do you want to go home… or to Remus' house?"

"In my happy home… I barely breathe… in my lover's arms… I find relief" she slowly sang with her eyes closed.

James exchanged an exasperated look with Remus before gently shaking Lily.

"Awe crap I'm going!" she exclaimed before clumsily wrenching her things toward her and climbing out of the car.

James watched her closely as she swayed down the path to her front door and eventually opened the door stumbling in.

The car was silent for a moment.

"That was fun" Sirius said happily, earning strange looks from his friends.

"All right let's go" Remus said driving away.

* * *

"LILITH!" the green toad shouted from its hovering black cloud.

It kept shouting before she realized that it wasn't the toad shouting her name, it was her father.

Burying her face deeper into her warm pillows she groaned in annoyance.

Slowly rising from her warm covers and trying to ignore the pounding in her skull she put on her shoes and walked downstairs where her father was waiting impatiently.

"What?" she asked scratching her head. Her make up from the night before was still smeared on her face and her hair was tangled into a mass of deep crimson.

"You have a phone call, and after you are finished you are going to wash up and then you are coming to my office so we can discuss you're behavior as of late" he snarled before walking away leaving the phone on its small table.

Lily watched him walk away through half lidded eyes and stifled another yawn.

"Hello" she mumbled into the receiver.

"Lily!" Someone said happily on the other end.

"yeah, hey Jaz" she muttered in response.

"I was just making sure you got home safe, who were those weird guys that showed up last night?" Jasmine asked causing Lily to think for a moment.

"uhhh they were just some guys from my school" Lily said.

"Oh ok… well Adrian is really excited that we have a new manager…" Jasmine said.

"Oh Yeah…. He's cool… I'll bring him to our practices and fill him in on stuff" Lily said yawning.

"Lily did you just wake up?" Jasmine asked holding in a giggle.

"Yeah what time is it?" Lily asked.

"2:30 in the afternoon" she replied.

"Oh well I have to go… my dad is being a dick" Lily said.

"Ok well get ready for tomorrows show and rest your voice!" Jasmine exclaimed.

"Ok ok I will… Bye Jaz"

"Bye Lily" and the line went dead.

Lily slowly hung the phone up and contemplated going back to bed, she decided to see what her father wanted first.

Walking through the familiar hallways that led to her dad's study she let the memories of her childhood taunt her with every little detail that her young mind would notice.

Coming to her dad's open door she slowly peered inside. He was sitting at his desk reading something.

Her dad was a complicated man. Aside from being an asshole he had some interesting qualities. She remembered when she was about five years old, she had ventured into the garage and found boxes upon boxes of vinyl music records.

He had almost every rock record from the 50's and 60's and they were just collecting dust in the garage. Lily had fallen in love with the interesting artwork and mesmerizing pictures that had let her childish imagination run free.

For years she would sneak into the garage and look at all the records and she practiced reading the lyrics but she hardly ever heard the tune until she was 7 and she found an old record player and asked Petunia to help her set it up.

When she was 9 she asked him about them and he told her that music was a waste of time.

So she took the records out of their hiding spot and took them to her room.

Once when they were arguing over her choice of lifestyle he admitted that he too once had dreams of being a musician, but his father had put some sense into his head and he learned to be realistic. He also said that he would do the same with her.

Lily hated being realistic.

"Why are you standing there like an idiot?" He asked her when he noticed her standing in the doorway staring at him.

Lily continued to stare at him as she made her way inside the room filled with cigar smoke. She sat in the chair across from his desk and instantly felt like she was in trouble.

"Lilith… I have made some arrangements this summer to have you attend bible study with our church and your step mother has gotten you some special lessons with Madame Ursula" he announced with a note of finality.

"Why?" Lily asked bluntly with an air of disgust.

"Because I have had enough of your rabid behavior and its time you learned how to be a lady since your mother is obviously not teaching you" He said in a low tone, irritated that she dared ask questions.

"But I'm supposed to be in California this summer" she said back, how dare he, she had plans for this summer.

"We'll arrange something" he said forcefully.

"No… I'm not going to do it... there's no point" she retaliated.

"You will do as I say Lilith. How on earth are you going to find a husband with the way you act now days" he said with disgust in his voice.

"I don't want to get married" Lily growled. Her father gave her a condescending look.

"You will take these lessons in the summer and you will do it willingly or I will have nothing to do with you anymore. Now go up stairs and get ready, we are having a celebration in honor of your brother tonight. Sylvia will have your dress." he said going back to his papers on his desk.

Lily stared at her father in disbelief and slowly stood up from her chair. She turned around still trying to understand what was happening.

She had to go find Sylvia, the maid.

* * *

She found her an hour later doing laundry. Once she walked in the woman jumped in surprise.

"I need the dress" Lily said. The maid quickly reached for something and pulled out a large parcel.

From what little of the dress that Lily could see, she had already seen too much lace and frill for her own good.

"Who picked out the dress?" Lily asked.

"Mrs. Evans" the maid supplied.

"thanks" Lily said taking the monstrosity and walking away.

* * *

"Lily left her coat in my car" Remus announced walking into James' room with Sirius.

"we should give it back then" James said quickly. Sirius gave him a strange look and James coughed lightly.

"yeah I was thinking that we should do that in a bit." Remus said sitting in a chair.

"yesterday was fun" Sirius said smiling.

"yeah. I would never have guessed that Evans could sing like that" James mumbled briefly remembering her standing at the microphone.

"so what does a manager do?" Sirius asked, Remus and James gave him blank looks.

"you'll have to ask Lily" Remus said.

"I wonder what her parents are like" James said.

"They're divorced... Her mom lives in California" Sirius said.

Remus and James both looked at him curiously.

"why are you looking at me like that? I talk to Evans" Sirius said defensively

"when?" James asked incredulously.

"randomly" Sirius said nodding his head.

"we should go now, we don't want to intrude on anything" Remus said. The other two boys agreed and started to get up.

**Please review**


	11. It will not last the night

**This is the last chapter for winter Holiday! In lily's POV her mind is fucked up so don't give me crap about the grammar or English or whatever the fuck, go smoke a joint or have a drink before you read it, if you cant understand it.**

The three Marauders walked up the same stone path that they had watched Lily stumble up just the night before.

Coming to the majestic double doors the three silently had a fight over who would knock on the door. After drawing the shortest twig and losing three rounds of Rock, Parchment, Scissors, it was Remus who had to do the noble task.

Soon after he knocked the door sprung open to reveal a small woman with curly brown hair and small blue eyes. The woman looked at the boys appreciatively and smiled.

"Can I help you boys?" She asked in a sugary sweet tone.

"Um yes… is Lily Evans home?" James asked politely.

As soon as he said the redhead's name a dark look was cast upon the woman.

"She's up stairs," The woman said bitterly standing aside to let them in.

They thanked her silently and walked inside. Waiting for the woman to give them more information they were somewhat shocked when she shut the door and stomped off into the other room.

They all stood in the entranceway confused until Sirius started for the stairs.

"Come on… I doubt that lady is going to show us the way," He said standing on the stairs.

They took in the house around them and headed up the dark wooden stairs. They saw paintings of flowers and fruits line the walls and even a wedding photo was hung up, but other than that they could see nothing personal about these people.

Finally reaching the top of the stairs, the three boys headed to where they could distinctly hear music playing.

Remus led them to the source and they found themselves standing in front of an ordinary white door.

"Well go ahead Prongs, knock" Sirius said giving James a slight shove.

"Why should I do it? You're her best friend" James replied shoving Sirius toward the door.

"Don't look at me… I knocked on the front door." Remus said raising his hands when they both turned to look at him.

James took a deep breath and knocked firmly on the door. They waited for it to open but it never did.

James knocked again but still nothing, then Sirius knocked and no one opened the door… then Sirius banged on the door and it still remained closed.

"What if she can't hear us?" Remus asked.

"What if something's wrong with her?" James asked hurriedly.

Remus reached for the doorknob and the door creaked open, letting the music from inside flow out into the hallway.

James went in first followed by Remus and then Sirius. They shut the door behind them but what they saw immediately rooted them to the floor.

Lily was standing against the wall wearing nothing but a bra and underwear as she took deep drinks from a large bottle filled with brown liquid. All around her were bits of cloth and pieces of lace and in the hand that was not holding the bottle was a large knife.

Other than her state of dress, Lily looked quite pretty, much like a porcelain doll. Or at least James thought so.

Her dark red hair was curled in loose ringlets and she hand some simple makeup on. Not to mention her body was forcing all of his blood to his groin.

She looked up at them and furrowed her brow. She looked from side to side. And then back at them. Then she stared at the bottle she was holding as though she were asking it a question.

"Am I hallucinating?" she asked them unsurely setting the bottle down on the floor, as well as the large knife.

"Um no… We came to bring back your coat, you lef…you left it in um my car" Remus said staring at the wall to his side. Sirius was staring at the posters on her walls and James was openly staring at her.

"Oh" she replied before standing up again and reaching for something. She grabbed what looked like gray mass but when she put it on they saw that it was a large gray shirt that hung loosely on her small frame.

"Well thanks…. You can leave it wherever, and then you can go" She said looking around her.

Suddenly she shot her head up and looked alarmingly toward the door.

"He's coming," she mumbled before shoving the bottle, knife, and shards of material underneath her bed.

Before they could ask any questions the door sprang open to reveal a very tall man with Dirty blond hair and brown eyes. He looked highly annoyed as he walked in the messy room.

"Lilith what is this noise you insist on playing?" He asked growling.

"It's not noise, its Manic depression by Jimi Hendrix" She replied annoyed.

"You shouldn't pollute your mind with such nonsense, anyway you're stepmother told me you had guests" he said looking at the three boys standing in his daughter's room.

"Um yeah they were just leaving," she slurred looking down to hide her drunken green eyes.

"You look like strapping young lads, why don't you stick around for our celebration tonight?" He asked them. Lily's eyes widened and she started to shake her head.

"We'd love to Sir" Sirius said grinning. All eyes turned to him.

"Wonderful, I am Anthony Evans" the man said shaking each of their hands.

"Get dressed Lilith" Anthony said before turning and walking out of the room. Lily flipped off his retreating form before grabbing her hair.

"What the fuck?!" Lily yelled reaching under her bed and bringing out her bottle.

The three boys stood awkwardly watching her finish the bottle of liquor.

"Don't you people have other people to find and bug during winter break?" She slurred as she stood up and took off her gray shirt.

"Well we can't help it, we just love you that much…especially Prongs" Sirius said still looking at her posters.

"Ha ha … who the fuck is prongs? ….You fucks hate me anyway and that's the way it's supposed to be," she mumbled pulling out what looked to be a dress. They watched in silence as she put the dress on.

It was a very pretty pearl color but it had been shredded in random places and it was a wonder how the thing didn't fall off.

The strange thing was that she looked rather good in it.

"What's that?" Sirius asked nodding toward her attire.

"Your face" Lily mumbled not looking up.

Sirius looked confused and looked to his friends for help.

"Are you guys leaving or not?" Lily said turning to them after she finished dressing.

"No Evans we were invited to stay, it would be rude to leave" James said smirking at her.

"Fuck this then I'm leaving." Lily said grabbing her coat from Remus' hands and turning off her record player.

She made her way for the door and walked into the hall. The three boys stood silently as they watched her re-enter the room and dive under her bed. She re-emerged holding a star shaped Christmas box. She lifted the lid and took out a small black box, a mirror and a razor blade.

"What's that?" Sirius asked moving toward her position on the floor.

"Courage" she muttered pouring a small amount of white powder onto the mirror.

After using the razor to cut the powder into thin white lines, she took out a rolled up American twenty-dollar bill and snorted the powdered lines into her nostril.

"Why do you do that?" James asked as she snorted up her final line.

"I don't… really… know?" Lily muttered as she stayed on the floor and let her vision slip in and out of focus.

"Evans?" Sirius asked poking her cheek.

"What?" she asked shaking her head and sniffing loudly.

"You zoned out for a bit," Sirius said.

"Right…" she said quickly putting away her things.

"What was I going… To ... oh yeah… wait … no…" she muttered quickly moving around her room fixing certain things here and there.

"LILITH"

"Fuck" she said as she stopped moving around and stood still.

"Um… maybe we should go" Remus said jerking his head toward the door.

"Shit" she muttered brushing past them and heading for the hall.

The boys exchanged a quick look before leaving the room to follow her.

They trailed after her, out of the room and down the hall. She stopped suddenly at the top of the stairs and knelt to see the floor below.

"Damn it" she mumbled under her breath.

Remus grabbed his friends by the arms and dragged them down the stairs to the front door.

"What'd you do that for?" Sirius asked when they were outside.

"I don't think lily wanted us to see her family" he replied as he walked toward his car.

* * *

Lily's POV

The dark red liquid swirls in the cup ever so elegantly.

It looks like a whirlwind of blood and smells like liquor.

It tastes too sweet and it burns when I swallow.

"Lilith, give me back my drink"

It's so sweetly familiar.

I put it down gently back in its place; every time I close my eyes I see a million flashing bright lights.

"How has Lily's school been going with her condition?" someone down the table asks.

I forgot that my stepmother's family thinks I'm retarded.

That's what I get for snorting heroin for the first time before the wedding.

"She's developing" I think that's what he said. He being my alienated father sitting at the head of the table surrounded by _her _family.

The estranged man sitting almost too close to me and yet I still feel no family connection to him at all.

No unconditional love or comfort.

Just blankness, a mass of unfamiliarity and cold coincidences.

It could be the drink, it could be the coke or the pot I smoked this afternoon.

But I don't think it's any of that.

It's just the way it is.

It's been that way for a while, ever since I saw him pounding into the woman sitting at his side eating her steamed carrots delicately as though they were made of glass.

I feel everyone staring at me and as usual I'm quiet and I don't say much. I let them compare me to the gem of their family.

Their perfect Emily who is conveniently sitting right next to me eating at such a slow pace it seems like it would take years to finish her food.

"Emily is going to graduate with honors and is starring in her ballet recital," Someone says happily. I think it's the fat aunt at the end of the table.

Emily… with her blond locks and pretty blue eyes.

My food looks like paint… I desperately want to splatter it along the wall but I resist my urge and sit there like an idiot.

I think my sister is prettier than Emily but no one ever listens to me. I want to scream it, but I bite my tongue. Literally.

"Madame Ursula has agreed to help Lily acquire the skills necessary to become a proper Lady," My father says, as though I were a dog who needs to be trained.

I want another bottle of burning liquid that can make me throw up.

"How wonderful of her to take on a special person like Lilith" I hear some old man say.

Vodka. Vodka. Vodka.

I'm the fuck up in this family.

The world is silent. I think I hear my baby half-brother screaming in the distance somewhere.

Isn't this his party? Why the fuck is he away?

"Emily is learning to play the violin since she has already learned to play the piano beautifully" I think its Emily's mother who is speaking now; my stepmother's sister.

"I'm ashamed to say that Lily holds no musical talent," My dear stepmother says with an underline of pleasure.

This is when I become dizzy with hate.

I grip my knife and am so tempted to shove it right through my stepmother's throat.

I'm so close I can almost feel her warm blood seep down my arm.

"Dearest cousin, may I ask. Whatever happened to your dress?" I hear Emily ask me, hiding her laughter behind her folded napkin.

I look at her, I'm not sure what my cold green eyes look like but I stare at her, tempted to take out all of my frustration and anger out on her.

" I fixed it," I mutter before turning back to my food that I stare at.

Stupid blonde curls.

I want to rip out my hair and take every bottle of wine on the table and drink their contents in one gulp.

I miss my best friend.

I want him to hold me and rock me back and forth while petting my hair.

I feel someone strongly gripping my wrist. I look up and see my father.

I look around.

Everyone is gone.

"We are going into the sitting room," he says in a demanding tone. I nod and stand up dropping my trusty knife on the table.

He gives me a disappointed look and leaves me alone.

If I drink all of the wine…will I get alcohol poisoning?

* * *

"Remind me again why we left so suddenly" Sirius said they all sat down in Remus' room.

"Didn't you see Lily's face when she looked downstairs? She looked horrified, I don't know about you but I didn't want to be there for whatever she was dreading" Remus said.

"What do you reckon we should do then?" James asked.

They were silent for a moment before an owl swooped in and dropped a letter on James' lap.

"Its from Kate" James said tossing the letter to the floor.

"Are you finally gunna break up with her when we go back to school?" Sirius asked eating a chocolate frog.

"Yeah… I don't know what I saw in her," James said lounging in his chair.

"Haha sure you do. You saw easy access," Sirius said laughing.

"Yeah that's true" James muttered looking out of the window.

"We go back to school soon" Remus said.

"Two more days" Sirius mumbled.

* * *

"Oh Emily won't you please play us something on the piano!" my stepmother exclaims.

I'm sitting in the corner drinking a bottle of wine that I managed to snatch from the table.

"Oh if you insist" she replies as though she doesn't want to gloat. Stupid blonde.

She sits down and plays chopsticks. How typical.

If she's going to try to play classical she might as well do something a little less commercial.

Crap.

Everyone's looking at me.

Did I say that out loud?

"My dear, when you learn to play piano as beautifully as Emily then you may say something. Until then listen to a master at work" some old lady sneers at me.

"Yes dear cousin, why don't you come here and show me what's not commercial," Emily said looking smug.

I look at my father who looks livid at my behavior.

Emily must have thought my hesitation meant she won because now she turned back to the piano with a smug smile on her ugly face.

"Move" I say loudly. I walk over and set my nearly empty bottle of wine on top of the piano and glare down at her.

She looks at me and I can see fear cover her features.

I glance up and see everyone looking at me again. Some with outrage, some with shock.

I sit down at the piano and let my fingers glide over the keys.

My fingers take position and I start to play Swan Lake. My fingers hit every note, starting out slow; my right hand keeps up the melody as my left hand trails all along the low keys at a slow pace.

I substitute my lack of symphony by improvising, careful to keep the same melody at different pitches.

I play for a good twenty minutes before someone rudely shuts the cover of the piano keys and smashes my fingers.

"Ow" I growl looking up to see my stepmother looking livid.

"You cursed this piano didn't you, you little demon wench!" she screams angrily.

I stand up and crack my knuckles and do what I have been waiting to do for almost seven years.

I punch her as hard as I can, she goes flying across the room, which I'm sure is with the aid of my magic going haywire.

Everyone scrambles to see if she's all right and I turn back to the piano and grab the bottle of wine I left there.

"Call the police! This child is demented!' I her someone from the mass of people surrounding my victim scream.

"I'M LEAVING YOU FUCKS!" I scream as I throw the bottle to the floor, bound up the stairs and run toward my room.

I grab everything I can and shove it in my school trunk.

After I managed to shove all of my belongings in my trunk and a bag I found lying on the floor, I grab my coat and wand and head for the door.

I'm still immensely drunk and I can't walk in straight, and I can feel my heart pumping in my chest and my blood rushing through my veins.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

"Lilith!"

I turn and see my father standing there. I can't even describe what he resembles.

"You are no longer welcome in this house" he says. I don't know why, but I start crying.

"Don't worry Mr. Evans, you'll never fucking see me again" I say through sobs. I open the front door and walk out of my father's house for the last time.

16 years old, bags packed, guitars strapped and a bulging bag full of records and all I can hear is the melody of Swan Lake playing in my head.

**Please Review**


	12. people are strange

**Soooo... its been ..two months? give or take...sorrry i've been lagging but once again i find myself with strange inspiration at.. 2 in the morning.. hope you all are having a wonderful summer.**

The snow fell lightly from the sky like bits of cotton candy.

"thanks for the ride Sid, and thanks for letting me stay at your place for the past few days" Lily said as she climbed out of the small car.

"No problem Lils, and remember! Don't let the man get you down" he said pointing his finger in her general direction.

"Be careful driving home Sid, you're still blown" Lily said gathering her things.

"No mate, you be careful. Those pills I gave you… fuckin trip you out so chill out on the train all right… and avoid any contact with clowns" he said nodding his mass of hair.

"yeah, I'll see ya" she said shutting the door and watching her friend drive off.

Lily turned around and faced the large train station.

The large clock clicked 8: 53 and there were people rushing around the lone redhead.

Lily reached up and placed her hood over her dark red hair and started walking toward platform 9 dragging her things behind her.

"people are strange … when you're a stranger" she softly sang as she passed platform 4.

"faces look ugly…when you're alone" platform 5 and 6.

"women seem wicked… when you're unwanted…" platform 9 and 10.

Lily paused quickly and glanced around to see if anyone was paying attention to her before she quickly vanished into the barrier.

* * *

"Oh James I've missed you so much! You didn't respond to any of my letters, were you terribly busy?" squealed the young girl who was currently backing James into an empty compartment while trying to unzip his trousers.

"Um.. yeah about that.. Umm.. darling... there's something I have to talk to you about" James forced out trying to gain control of the situation and remember the name of the girl who was mercilessly trying to get into his pants. Literally.

"oh I know exactly what you mean!" she said delighted.

"you do?" he asked confused.

"I feel exactly the same way" she said breathlessly happy.

"Really" he said doubtfully.

"I LOVE YOU!" she shrieked through tearful eyes hugging him tightly.

"Uhhhh" he said completely dumbfounded.

"Oh this moment is just too beautiful to describe with words" she said sighing contently.

"actually… I think it's best we take a break" he grounded out.

"What?" she asked looking worried.

"a break… you know what they say... absence makes the heart grow fonder" he said chuckling.

"you're breaking up with me?" she asked in a quivering voice.

"Um … yes" he said cautiously.

"I HATE YOU JAMES POTTER!" she screamed at the top of her lungs.

Suddenly they heard groaning and shuffling from above them causing the girl to scream and latch herself onto James' arm.

"Oh no what is it?" she asked fearfully.

"um I'm not sure" James said just as a long pale arm flung down from the luggage rack above them.

"AHHHH" the girl screamed as she ran out of the compartment.

James slightly tugged on the seemingly lifeless arm and found himself catching an unconscious Lily Evans.

"hmmm bunnies" she muttered.

"Evans?" he asked sitting down on a seat with her sprawled out in his lap.

"mmm Potter? Is that you?" she asked opening one of her dilated green eyes.

"yeah… Evans… what were you doing in the luggage rack?" he asked.

"It seemed comfortable" she muttered attempting to sit up.

"The luggage rack seemed comfortable?" he asked as her eyes widened in panic for a second.

"Bloody hell the world is spinning" she said lying down in his lap once more.

"I sure hope so" he said chuckling and brushing some of her scarlet hair out of her face.

"Potter you're comfy" she muttered cuddling into him slightly. James' eyes widened but he didn't complain.

"well… feel free to lay upon me whenever you wish" he said smiling.

"I see things when I close my eyes" she muttered staring at the ceiling of the moving train.

"then keep them open" he said still running his fingers through her soft hair.

"I'm trying but the pills are making me sleepy" she muttered letting her dazed eyes inspect his face.

"What pills?" he asked countering her stare.

"The pills that Sid gave me" she muttered looking away.

"why'd you take them?" he asked, briefly musing over the fact that he was entertaining a very drugged out witch in his lap.

"They're helping me forget" she muttered closing her eyes again.

"Forget what?" he asked, but his question rang hollow as he realized that she had fallen asleep. As he mindlessly played with her hair, James felt something stir within him as he held the small fragile girl in his arms.

'she tries to act tough but it seems like she's desperately trying to runaway from her own mind' he though as he gazed at her peaceful face.

Leaning down the place a soft kiss on her forehead, James rearranged them so he too could fall asleep.

* * *

James awoke when the conductor's voice rang out through the train, informing them that they were about to arrive at the station.

He gazed down and noticed that Lily was still sleeping peacefully against him.

He bent down to her ear, subconsciously taking in a whiff of her unique scent.

"Hey Lily wake up" he said testing out her name on his tongue.

He noticed her stir and look around questioningly. She gazed back at him for a moment and he noticed that her eyes still seemed a bit off.

"What?" she asked when she noticed his intense gaze.

"We've arrived and you still have to change." he replied.

"fuck" she muttered looking down at her tight ragged jeans and tight black t shirt.

"why are you still here? I have to change" she said getting up and almost losing her balance had it not been for James' firm hold on her waist.

"are you sure you don't need help?" he asked smirking arrogantly.

"Not from a perv like you, get out of here" she said glaring at him and causing him to chuckle slightly.

"See ya Evans" he said steeping out of the compartment.

They both briefly realized that they had never slept so well.

**REVIEW AND I MIGHT NOT TAKE ANOTHER TWO MONTHS TO UPDATE:)**


	13. Sweating in the Winter

**Yay I updated faster. **

"happy birthday too me …" Lily sang softly as she hugged a package close to her while she stumbled down an empty corridor. Being the end of January it was bitterly cold inside but Lily was too drunk to mind.

She had celebrated her birthday with her Slytherin friends; they filled her up with fire whisky and had the houselves make her a cake. She was having a great time laughing and having drunk conversations with various Slytherins sometimes playing a drinking game or two.

Then an owl came to her and dropped a ragged and dirty package into her lap. She read the small address card and nearly jumped with excitement.

It was from her best friend who she hadn't seen since summer. Lily practically hummed with excitement as she quickly excused herself from the drunken Slytherins, who hardly noticed the disappearance of their party girl.

Lily stared at the box in her hands happily as she sat next to a suit of armor, enjoying the feeling of the chill that passed through the hall on her drunkenly warm face.

Without any further hesitation Lily ripped open the box. She found a card and picture laying on top of her present which seemed to be a black blob. Picking up the card she recognized Erick's sketch that looked suspiciously like her wearing what was no doubt another one of his insane clothing creations. Opening the card she recognized his untidy scrawl written in an array of different colored pencils.

_Lilylicious!_

_Ahhh Happy Birthday! You're finally 17! How does it feel eh?? Too too crazy I hope! I bet you're so drunk right now that you can actually hear me saying these things to you… you crazy! Hahaha I love you! I hope you're having fuuuuun learning magic… don't be too antisocial! Ohhhhh I miss you so much and I wish I could be there to give this in person along with a HUGE hug! By the way hoe, I hope you visit soon! Its too painful not seeing you for this long! Want me to tell you what you got? Ha! too bad, I'll give a little hint though, its something you can wear! And also something that I'm sure is going to have you going crazy for a little bit. I also included a picture from that time that we took the train to San Francisco. I love you! Hope you like your gift._

_Happy b-day! _

_Looooooooooove Eri-eri-erick._

Lily laughed out loud and felt tears sting her eyes. She missed him so much!

Lily picked up the picture of them. Lily was turned to the side while Erick was facing the camera. Lily had her hands wrapped around his neck pretending to choke him as she laughed while Erick tried to hide his smile and look scared, but he failed horribly. They were sitting in front of their favorite graffiti wall wearing the same clothes that had been wearing for two days.

Lily felt tears stream down her face as she gazed at the photo. She missed him so much.

Laughing slightly she placed the photo and card next to her and dug into the box.

She pulled out the black blob and realized that it was a strange black dress that had white and silver paint that Lily immediately recognized as Erick's artwork splattered all over it. It had a turtleneck and long sleeves but looked like it would only reach past her mid thigh and it had no back.

"must have been high as a fuckin kite to make this one" Lily said snuggling her face in the soft fabric.

She set it aside and reached into the box, she pulled out a pretty glass pipe that had orange and yellow swirls through it.

Laughing some more and oblivious to the happy tears that streamed from her bright green eyes she pulled out a small plastic bag that gave off the smell of some very expensive chronic.

The last thing she pulled out was a fashion magazine.

She looked at the cover and saw a very beautiful blond girl wearing a gorgeous gown and giving the camera a solemn look. Lily stared into the pale blue irises of the girl and felt shock stir within her very soul.

"Petty?" she breathed recognizing her sister sitting on the cover of the magazine.

She tried to find some confirmation but the cover didn't say her name. She quickly flipped through the magazine hoping to find more pictures when a piece of paper fell out.

_Ha! Surprised you didn't I! yes its Petunia! I'm positive, she did a photo shoot for the designer that I'm working for and though she didn't recognize me at first I explained to her who I was and she was very relieved to learn that you were still safe. She's really busy for now and I could only get an address from her. She's living with some other models from her Agency and is really busy but told me to tell you to write as soon as possible. Address included bellow. _

_l.o.v.e. urick. _

Lily stared picture of her sister who had disappeared after Lily turned 12. Burying her face in the magazine she sobbed quietly.

After calming down and gathering all of her things she stood up and started walking toward the dungeons again.

A few people passed her, giving her strange looks as she walked crookedly down the corridor holding a box to her chest.

She was just about to start singing when she felt someone grab her arm.

"What the fuck?" she asked as she looked to see who grabbed her.

"Hey there Lily" a tall boy with glasses and brown hair asked. She gave him a hard look from head to toe and determined that he was handsome and a Hufflepuff.

"Who the hell are you?" she asked bluntly wondering why he spoke so casually to her.

"Um, I'm Amos Diggory" he said giving her a strange look.

"Is that supposed to mean something to me? What do you want?" she asked giving him a blank look and trying to keep her drunken mind focused.

"oh well, I was just wondering how you've been since its been a while since we last talked" he said feeling more awkward by the minute.

"When did we talk? I don't even know who the hell you are so why don't you just tell me what you want so I can go back to drinking" she slurred giving him a hard look.

"Well I wanted to ask you to be my date to the Spring Ball" He said looking slightly offended.

"what Spring Ball? It's not even fucking spring" she asked suspiciously.

"The Spring Ball that was announced two weeks ago, it's next week and since we dated in fourth year…"

"hold on, I didn't date anyone in fourth year" she said cutting him off. She was still fat and extremely antisocial in fourth year and she remembered it well.

"well we didn't really date… but we.. well ..we um" he said blushing.

"are you that fucker that I gave a blow job to and then you ignored me and talked shit to me with your fuckin friends" she said in a deadly tone. His eyes widened comically and he gaped at her.

"I didn't… well I… you… really…" he stuttered before sighing dramatically. She was now giving him an icy glare and he quickly regained his voice.

"look I'm really sorry about that but I was immature and I want to make it up to you by taking you to the ball" he said in a confident voice even though he was quite frightened by the small girl in front of him.

"I didn't even know there was a fuckin ball so why the fuck would I go… and with you no less" she growled feeling her vision become hazier. She leaned against the wall to brace herself

"Look Lily please just come with me, I promise I'll be a great date and you won't regret it" he pleaded.

"whatever, just go away" she muttered covering her eyes.

"only if you say yes" he said quickly.

"yeah, yeah just go away" she growled and started stumbling toward the dungeons again gripping her head.

**This chapter is dedicated to Grapes and my best friend Eddie, who I'm banned from seeing for a month and I miss him terribly. A bit of advice… if your best friend has just informed that your good friend has just died and you decide to find comfort in a very large jug of Jim Beam and a 2-liter of coke…. Make sure your mom doesn't come home to find you snuggled on the couch with your gaybff watching robot chicken!**

** Review, Arigato**


	14. Buying out the fight

**I'm updating so fast! show me love :) thanks for all my reviews they make me happy!**

"BITCH!"

"EVIL CONIVING VINDICTIVE HAG!"

"STUPID WHORE OF A HIPPOGRIFF"

"OPEN YOUR CURTAINS SLAG!"

Lily turned over in her sleep, vaguely aware of someone cursing her from outside the curtains surrounding her bed.

"OPEN NOW OR I'LL CURSE YOU TO ALL HELL!"

Lily wearily cracked open her eye and saw her curtains moving but decided to turn over and go back to sleep.

Suddenly she smelled smoke and noticed that the curtains at the foot of her bed were burning at an alarming rate.

Instantly waking up and grabbing her wand, she put out the fire and wrenched open her curtains shoving her wand against the throat of her attacker.

Priscilla and the rest of her mindless dorm mates, who she forgot the names of, were standing around Lily's bed with their wands pointed at the redhead.

"What the FUCK do you think you're doing you brainless cunt!" Lily snarled as she dug her wand further into the girl's throat, only to feel three other wands pointed at her head.

"What did you do to Amos Diggory?" Priscilla asked in a heated whisper.

"What the hell are you talking about you annoying piece of shite?" Lily growled eagerly wanting to show Pricilla how to really curse someone to hell.

"You stole my date for the Spring Ball, Amos was supposed to ask me but now he's saying that he's going with you" Pricilla spat out in a disgusted voice.

"What the fuck does that have to do with me? Just because boys are actually seeing you for the disgusting whore that you are doesn't mean I did anything to push it along, you did plenty by yourself" Lily said in dull tone dropping her wand-hand and shoving her way past the girls deciding that it was too early to deal with such meaningless bullshit.

Pricilla let out a loud shriek and raised her wand but Lily quickly turned around and disarmed her and put her into a quick body bind in one move without muttering a single thing.

"don't insult yourself by trying to duel with me, you'll only regret it later" Lily said glaring at the shocked girl on the floor.

Giving the rest of the girls a glare for good measure Lily grabbed her things and walked into the bathroom to get dressed for the long day of school ahead of her.

After she finished her morning ritual of a hangover potion, 3 lines of coke, two vials of mystery potion #4 and a quick cleaning of her face and teeth, Lily was all set.

Rubbing her nose and tugging at her tie she stepped out of the bathroom and was met by one of her meeker dorm mates who couldn't seem to look Lily in the eye.

"Um, could you release Pricilla, no one else can break your spell…please" the girl said nervously staring at the ground.

Lily glanced at the immobile girl on the floor who had black mascara tear tracks down her cheeks and was glaring daggers at Lily.

Rolling her eyes and not saying anything Lily started walking to the door not even pausing to wave her wand as she silently undid the spell before she walked out of sight.

* * *

Days had passed since her confrontation with her dorm mates and they were being a bit too quiet for Lily's liking, she knew that Pricilla was't one to stand down so Lily felt the need to be extra paranoid and it wasn't helping her in any way.

Particularly since the Ball was in two days and all the chattering and excitement did horrors for Lily's nerves.

Now Lily was irritated as she walked through the corridors on her way to the Gryffindor tower while random girls and a few boys were buzzing with excitement and swooning over their dates and dress robes.

She wasn't just a little annoyed; she was fully irritated to the brink of rage.

Most likely because she had taken a potion during transfiguration that gave her a really nice high, but the come down was filling her veins with pure insane hate for everything around her.

Especially for the two Hufflepuff idiots, who were walking at the pace of a mentally deranged turtle in front of her.

She was just about to push past them when she heard her name drop in the conversation they were having.

Deciding she had nothing better to do than find out why two Hufflepuff boys felt the need to discuss her, she quickly casted a notice me not charm on herself and crept closer to the boys who were oblivious to her presence.

"Yeah mate, Amos gets fifty galleons for showing up to the Ball with Evans and then he gets another 25 galleons if he shags her and gets a picture, 15 galleons if she just sucks his cock" one of the boys said. Lily raised her eyebrow and kept her already seething temper in check.

"that's a fancy deal, but how is he going get her to go?" the other one asked.

"Well he says she already said yes, and he also said she's an easy shag so he's pretty confident, lucky bastard. He promised that Gryffindor slag Pricilla that he'd ditch Evans for her, so that means he's getting lucky twice in one night" the first one said.

By this point Lily was nearly seeing red and she was taking long labored breaths to keep calm.

"does the Gryffindor whore know about the bet?" the second one asked.

"Which one?"

"The tan one"

"Oh yeah, apparently he told her all about it and she thinks it's a great idea, actually now that I think of it, I think that Evans is her dorm mate" the first one said.

"that's going to be an interesting cat fight" the second one replied.

"yeah, I hope it happens in the great hall so we can see" the first one said as they turned a corner.

Lily kept walking straight toward the Gryffindor tower wanting nothing more than to get her new pipe and smoke out so she could think of a proper solution to her situation.

As she neared the portrait she reversed her charm and muttered the password. She climbed into the portrait hole and saw that the common room was also buzzing with people talking about the Ball.

Lily glanced up when she heard laughs from the corner and saw Pricilla surrounded by girls who were all giving Lily condescending looks to go along with their laughter.

'I'm just going to go crash in my bed' Lily thought as she forced her vision foreword and hurried up the girl's staircase.

She opened the door to her dorm and hurried toward her bed only to realize that something was horribly off.

Her entire bed was charred black and gave off a horrible smell. Her comfortable warm sheets and blankets were now wimpy black rags piled on top of a blackened mattress surrounded by piles of soot that were once her bed hangings.

To top things off, her book bag, books and the homework that she managed to finish early were singed and completely unusable.

Lily saw crimson.

Lily was no longer Lily.

Tossing her wand to the floor and in a full drugged out rage Lily stormed down to the still crowded common room and turned toward the group of laughing girls.

She could feel pure hate coarse through her and her body ached for an outlet.

Passing by a group of 7th years drinking butter beer she made all of their bottles explode with a blast.

The girls were now quiet and the rest of the common room was catching up fast.

Glaring at the group of girls who were now donning frightened faces Lily nearly smirked, but what she felt was a smirk was actually a sadistic smile that injected fear into her soon to be victims.

Lily waved her hand and the girls that surrounded Pricilla flew away into the walls like rag dolls.

Pricilla was now scrambling to try to stand up and run, but as she started heading for the portrait Lily's fist grabbed a fistful of her blonde hair and yanked the girl back and forced her other clenched fist into the tan girl's face.

Pricilla tried to scratch Lily and managed to nick her face, Lily then yanked her bleached hair down and threw her to the floor. She kicked the girl hard before straddling the girls stomach as she landed punch after punch into the Pricilla's face.

Blood was spilling and flying everywhere, but no one dared to move, let alone break it up for fear of his or her own safety.

"I'm …**punch**… sick… **punch**…. And … **punch**… fucking…**punch**… tired…. **punch**… of dealing…**punch**… with your bullshit…**punch**" Lily growled ignoring the pain in her fists and the whimpering girl below her. Pricilla was almost one with the floor but Lily certainly wasn't finished.

Lily grabbed another fistful of her hair and turned to the group of people that were watching.

"MOVE!" Lily roared giving them a deadly glare and they scrambled away as fast as they could. Lily dragged the struggling girl over to a table and lifted her head back.

"I'm gunna teach you to mess with me" Lily stated hoarsely before she plunged the girls face down into the corner of the table.

There was a sickening crack and a scream to go along but Lily continued to bash the girl's face into the table corner until she felt someone grab her from around the waist and lift her up.

She still kept her death grip on Priscilla's hair as her interruption tried to drag her away, effectively dragging Pricilla along with them.

"Calm down Lily" James whispered urgently in her ear as Sirius rushed over and pried Lily's hand apart.

Lily saw the broken and bloody girl on the floor and let out a series of loud hollow laughs that rang throughout the room like thunder.

James kept a firm hold on her as she continued to laugh maniacally and carried her up to his dorm, glancing back to see that Remus and Sirius had taken control of the situation.

Kicking his dorm door open, he walked in and sat Lily down on his bed grabbing her chin and forcing her to look at him. She had stopped laughing by now.

"what the bloody hell happened?" he asked staring at her beautiful calm face that was covered with blood splatter.

"I need a cigarette" she said calmly standing up and walking to the small window.

She opened it and let a cold wind flood the room, taking out a long white cigarette she placed it between her lips and pulled out a lighter from her pocket.

"Lily… why did you go insane and beat Barnsworth to the brink of death" James asked cautiously as he went to stand next to her.

"Barnsworth!...that's what her last name is" Lily said triumphantly ignoring James' question.

James stared at her intensely but she continued to gaze out the window.

"Want a drag?" she asked offering the cigarette to him. He took it and inhaled lightly before handing it back to her.

He was about to ask her again but the door sprung open to reveal an out of breath Sirius.

"She's on her way to the infirmary and I managed to convince her to not say anything about Evans, but she says she'll only do it if you agree to be her date for the ball" Sirius said catching his breath.

"what's the point?" Lily asked calmly raising an eyebrow and taking another drag of her cigarette.

"What about the rest of the common room?" James asked ignoring Lily's comment.

"They're all terrified and want nothing to do with the situation" Sirius said.

"All right then tell her that I'll take her only if she and everyone else agrees to never mention this to any of the teachers or anyone outside of Gryffindor" James said frowning deeply.

"right" Sirius replied awkwardly as he shut the door again.

"What's with the depressed look Potter? Pricilla's an easy fuck" Lily said casually turning back to the window.

"Lily do you want to be expelled?" James exclaimed grabbing her arms and forcing her to look at him.

"Why am I Lily all of a sudden? Since when did we become close friends?" Lily asked curiously.

"Answer me Lily" he growled gripping her tighter in his clutch.

"I don't care actually… and neither should you" she replied releasing herself from his hold and walking toward the door.

"Where are you going?" he asked staring at her.

"To take a bath and then to go to sleep" she said calmly before disappearing through the door.

James stared at the spot where she had stood just moments before, the scent of her cigarette still wafting around him as he tried to think of a good reason to explain to his current date that he had to take Pricilla Barnsworth instead of her.

**... bet you guys aren't used to Lily kicking ass hahaha please Review!**


	15. Boy you just a stupid bitch

**um some violence and sexual content included below.**

Lily glared at her reflection in the mirror of the prefects bathroom before she dropped her head back and took a long gulp from the vodka bottle that she had clenched in her hand.

The Ball was to begin in half an hour and she was supposed to meet her 'date' in ten minutes.

She really didn't want to attend the ball that she mentally dubbed a complete waste of time, but in order to properly carry out her plan she had to not only show up but also stay the entire time.

Placing the bottle on the counter next to her she brought out her small palette of wacky eye shadows and took out the small spongy. Picking an electric blue she furiously rubbed the spongy in the eye shadow and swept it across her eyes in one thick line.

Laughing a little as she continued to fill in the line of electric eye shadow across her face she placed it down and lined her eyes with black eyeliner and mascara.

Stepping away from the mirror she critically drew in her reflection.

She decided to nix the dress robes and wear the dress that Erick gave her for her birthday, along with layered pairs of white and blue fishnets that had holes in them and her extremely old and dirty high tops.

The front of her hair was pinned back and the rest tumbled down her back in uneven layers while her bangs hung in her face almost covering her eyes.

'I feel like I'm going on stage' she thought picking up her bottle again.

She decided it was only fair that she had a right to piss Diggory off and since he had no choice but to show up with her anyway, she would take full advantage of the situation and embarrass him in any way that she could.

Finishing off her bottle, she took one last look at her reflection and headed out the door.

Wishing she had a joint in her hand Lily stumbled toward their designated meeting place. She arrived and noticed Diggory standing there in a pair of golden tan dress robes. He was facing away from her so she sniffed loudly to get his attention.

He turned to her and she watched as his eyes widened in shock and horror.

"err… you look nice, but …didn't you find any dress robes?" he asked awkwardly.

"I didn't try" she said dismissingly, silently challenging him to reject her.

"oh right… well.. shall we be… going?" he stammered holding out his arm.

She pasted a stupid smile on her face and took his arm thinking about all of the things that she had in store for him.

He glanced down at her and smiled cockily thinking that he had won the easiest bet in the wizarding world.

* * *

"This place looks like shit" Lily muttered when they entered the great hall. It looked like a 5 year olds birthday party with pink and purple streamers floating everywhere and multicolored balloons attached to the walls.

"the head boy and girl need to stop fucking each other and do their job" Lily said taking in the decorations, or lack there of.

"I'll go get us some drinks" Amos said walking away to where Lily could see a group of Hufflepuff boys who all cheered and clapped him on the back as he approached.

Lily rolled her eyes and wandered over to the punch bowl on the opposite side of the hall trying to figure out how she could empty her flask filled with rum into the punch unnoticed.

After she realized that no one was paying attention to her she discreetly emptied her flask into the bowl and mixed it before pouring some for herself.

"mmm" she mumbled completely immersed in the cool liquid almost burning her throat.

"Hey Evans" someone said casually from her side.

She looked up to see Sirius standing next to her looking very handsome in his scarlet robes.

"What Black?" she asked before finishing her cup and pouring herself a new one.

"Am I not allowed to come say hello to my beautiful friend who's wearing the latest fashion from Knocturn Alley?" he asked winking at her dramatically.

"no" she said simply turning back to her drink.

"Fine, Prongs sent me over to check on you since his date is terrified to death of you and won't remove herself from his arm" Sirius said as though he were given a truth potion.

Lily raised her eyebrow at him and turned to her gaze to crowd of dancing students. She could see James and Pricilla on the other side of the hall. Pricilla's face was mostly healed except for the bruising under her eyes that they couldn't heal for some reason.

What Sirius said certainly rang true because Lily could see Pricilla's clutch on James' arm like a leash on a wounded dog.

James' gaze found hers and they stared at each other for what seemed like hours.

"What's Potter's new obsession with me? He didn't have to bring Pricilla just to save me" Lily growled.

"He didn't want you to be expelled I guess…" Sirius replied looking thoughtful.

"Why should he give a fuck, now his night is ruined cause he's stuck with her…" Lily said bitterly ad she watched Pricilla drag James around so she could show him off.

"Are you jealous my dear" Sirius announced laughing.

"No, I'm just trying to figure out what he wants from me…. You're his best friend, you tell me" Lily said turning her gaze on Sirius.

"can't really expect me to decipher the inner workings of my best friend's mind... can't even decipher my own mind. " Sirius muttered shaking his head.

"true…are you drunk?" she slurred looking at him closely.

"Not yet" he said determinedly. She could smell the alcohol on his breath.

"good luck with that" she said taking another sip of her drink.

"well actually I also came to let you know that the punch bowl over there is spiked" he said pointing to the punch bowl that Peter Pettigrew was standing by.

"Oh thanks for the heads up" she muttered finishing her drink.

"where is your date?" she asked suspiciously when he suddenly moved behind her and crouched down slightly.

"um … I'm not sure" he said sheepishly trying to peek over her shoulder.

"you're such an asshole" lily said shaking her head.

"yes and they all know this, but they still insist on trying to make me fall in love with them." He said before sniffing her punch bowl.

"Hey get your own spiked punch" lily snapped when he got a cup full.

"mmm this is yummy" he muttered ignoring her completely. Before they could say anymore the band started playing, grabbing their attention at once.

On the makeshift stage stood three girls in matching outfits. Each held an instrument and the singer opened her mouth as they started a pop tune.

"and I thought it couldn't get worse" Lily muttered.

"I know them…but I can't remember their names" Sirius said stealing another cup of punch.

"That girl isn't really playing the guitar" Lily said after watching them for a few minutes.

"Huh? ... How can you tell?" Sirius asked trying to see what lily saw.

"Her finger movement is all wrong and it doesn't go with the music, I don't think that girl is really singing either" Lily said looking disappointed. She was hoping to find some girl musicians in the magical world.

"Fascinating" Sirius replied before taking another cup.

A whole bowl of spiked punch and three songs later, Sirius had stumbled off leaving Lily free to roam as she pleased.

She pushed passed dancing couples and found herself near the stage where the three girls were doing choreographed moves.

Finding a mysterious door and being almost too bored to function lily opened it and slipped through not noticing a pair of hazel eyes that were following her every move.

Once inside she was met with the sight of three guys playing instruments and two guys standing by the walls with wands in one hand and bottles of beer in the other.

"Nick?" Lily asked the boy who was standing closest to her playing a pure black guitar.

He turned around and saw Lily while he nodded and smiled in her direction.

Nick Zynfer graduated two years ago and was one of the first musicians that Lily had ever interacted with. He was like her mentor and was the one who taught lily most of what she knew about the muggle and magical music world.

She waited patiently for the ex-Ravenclaw to finish playing. Once the pop number was finished he bent down to pick up a bottle of beer and motioned Lily over.

"Didn't you graduate?" he asked after they hugged.

"No I still have next year, what are you doing here?" she asked looking and waving to the rest of the guys and taking an offered beer.

"I forgot how little you are, I'm doing a favor for my girlfriend, her and her friends can't play instruments to save their lives but for some reason they agreed to do this gig" he said taking a swig of his beer.

"that's cool I guess… hahaha remember the songs we used to come up with before you graduated" Lily said laughing as she remembered.

"Yeah actually I still practice them" he said tuning his guitar.

"We should have another jam session" Lily said excitedly.

"Grab a microphone kid, hey Joe put the girls on rotation" He called out to one of the boys slumped over in the corner.

The boy tiredly lifted his arm and swung his wand around a little.

"Remember the lyrics?" He asked Lily who was now holding a microphone and standing in the middle of him, the bassist and the drummer.

"let's see" she laughed.

Nick started playing a heavy melody on the guitar and Lily started moving to his melody like she used to. The drummer and bassist soon caught on improving at their own will.

"I got a date with the niiiiiight… burning down my finger… gunna catch the kids drrrryyyy…. Gunna walk on waterrrr" she sang letting her voice and mind work on their own as she danced and jumped around to the beats of the drums, bass and guitar.

"buuying out the fiiiight, we're sweating in the winterrrrr… with both thighs squeezed tiiiight …choke choke choke choke choke choke choke choke choke chooooooooke" Lily sang letting her voice ring out on the last word as she sank to the floor.

"DON'T TELL ME TO FIX HER!… DON'T TELL ME TO FIX HER!! Well just take a biiiiite …don't hang no pictures…flying out my siiiiight….dropping brides at the altaaaaar ….with both thighs squeezed tight… choke choke choke choke choke choke choke choke choke choke" Lily was now jumping around as she experimented with her voice just like she used to when ever she sang at a jam session.

Nick took the opportunity to do a small guitar solo and then started playing the melody again. Lily paused her wild dancing and just shook her legs to the tempo lifting the microphone to her mouth.

"i'll set you… i'll set it off" she sang nearly laughing from happiness.

"i'll set you …i'll set it off" she started moving a little more

"i'll set you… i'll set it off" she sang jumping a little

"i'll set you… i'll set it off uh huh!" she sang jumping to the beat

Nick went off with the guitar.

"i'll set you …i'll set it off" she sang in a slow voice.

"i'll set you… i'll set it off" her voice was getting a little faster

"i'll set you… i'll set it off" she made her way over to the drummer and sang towards him as he laughed and kept drumming.

"i'll set you …i'll set it off OFF OFFF" she screamed jumping back into her original spot and dancing to the beat.

"Buying out the FIGHT!" she sang nearly eating her microphone.

"Gunna walk on waterrrr… gunna catch the kids dryyy…. Gunna bend my finger… run 'em on outsiiiiiiide… we're sweatin in the winteeerr… with both thighs sweezed tight! Both thighs squeezed tiiiiiight" she sang finishing off with an orgasmic gasp just for fun as the music faded.

"Fuckin hell, we come up with the weirdest lyrics" Nick said laughing.

"I'm surprised I remember them after so long" she said catching her breath and wiping sweat from her forehead.

"Oh bloody hell remember this one" Nick asked as he started playing another melody on the guitar. The drummer soon picked up the beat.

"Oh fuck I love this song" Lily said laughing.

He continued to play as she tuned her voice by letting out a series of gasps.

"You can keep your black tooongue…well I found at the mortuary" she sang smiling

"you know you're gonna want some, want some…we'll hide in the backroom…gonna have a packed suit ….with this so you don't regret…just let it be yeah yeah yeaaaaah"

"uh huh uh huh aiii… huh uh huh uh uh aiiii huh" she sang as jumped around a bit

"Sunny kept his ring oooon…red tape so ordinary….love I feel like it was gone, gone, gone, gone…leeets do this like a prison break…I wanna see you squeal and shake" she lowered her voice strangely.

"uh huh uh huh aiii huh uh huh uh huh uh huh aiiii" the bassist caught on and added a low tone to the back ground

"Boy you just a stupid bitch…and girl you just a no good dick" she almost laughed as she started clapping her hands.

"boy you just a stupid bitch and girl you just a nooo goood diiiick" the other boy was clapping to the beet with her.

"ohhh Boy you just a stupid bitch! And girl you just a no good DICK!" she sang as she kept clapping.

"hah…ahhh…"

"We're gonna keep it in the family…yeah well you know how we're on the run...you know they're gonna want some, want some...we'll hide in the backroom …gonna have a packed suit…with this so you don't regret…just let it be yeah yeah yeah" she took a quick breath.

"uh huh uh huh uh huh aiiii huh uh huh uh huh aiii" she was nearly out of breath but kept going.

"Boy you just a stupid bitch…and girl you just a no good dick' she sang as though announcing it .

"boy you just a stupid bitch and girl you just a no good diiiick"

"ohhhhh boy you just a stupid bitch and girl you just a no good DICK!" she exclaimed with an orgasmic gasp.

She sang the chorus once more before ending the song with a long high pitched moan as she sank to the floor.

Lily let out a hearty laugh as she stood up. She then noticed everyone staring at the door so she followed suit and turned her attention seeing professor McGonagall and the three performers standing there with looks of shock.

"Is the Ball over?" Lily asked innocently dropping her microphone with a thud.

"As lovely as that performance was, Miss Evans I must say that the students are a bit curious as to where their new entertainment is originating from" McGonagall said stiffly.

Nick and Lily exchanged a confused look and they looked to see that Joe was now passed out on the floor hugging a beer bottle.

"Did they hear… everything?" Nick asked cautiously.

"Yes we heard everything…loud and clear" one of the matching girls said.

"well I'm… just… going to go….bye" lily said quickly ducking out of the room. She noticed that the instruments on the stage were magically playing themselves and the students were still dancing.

Slipping across the hall near an empty punch bowl she clamped her hand over her mouth to keep in her laughter over the whole situation

That was until someone grabbed her arm rather forcefully.

"hey Lily" Amos purred in her ear.

'why does this fuck always feel the need to grab me?' lily thought at she gave him another stupid smile.

"hey Amos" she purred back, he smiled cockily and tugged her closer to his body.

"what do you say we ditch the ball early and go somewhere private" he said in a husky voice.

"Sure" she said shrugging and giving him a flirty glance.

Keeping a hold on her arm he led her out of the great hall, she was still oblivious to the pair of hazel eyes that were now glaring after her and her date.

Amos led her through the corridors to a conveniently empty classroom.

Letting her walk in he followed her and muttered a silencing charm on the door.

He threw his wand on a desk and walked up to her grabbing her close to his body leaning in for a kiss.

"I don't kiss" Lily said in a business like tone turning her face away so he was forced to kiss her jaw. He didn't stop though and tried to press her into the desk.

Lily took control and turned them around slowly pushing him against the desk while undoing his robes. She found the camera in one of his pockets and raised an eyebrow at him.

"For memories" he said taking the camera and placing it aside. She shrugged nonchalantly but felt a surge of eagerness to get this over with.

When she managed to open his robes and pull down his underwear, she spit on her hand and started to rub his shaft, feeling the soft silkiness harden under her touch.

He let out a loud moan and lent his head back.

She smirked slightly and got to her knees slowly licking the tip of his leaking erection.

She heard him moan again and she slowly started to take him in her mouth as deep as she could.

She bobbed her head up and down and felt him scramble for the camera.

Taking him as far as she could, she waited for it.

The flash of the camera came fast and as soon as she heard him set down the camera she smirked and clenched her teeth down as hard as she could until she felt warm blood fill her mouth and a loud high pitched scream fill her ears.

He pushed her off him forcefully and looked down at his wounded member as tears of pain and panic fell from his eyes.

Lily stood up and spat out the blood and spit from her mouth.

"wha… why… how…" he stammered through pained pants.

She walked over to him and picked up the camera using it to smack him across the face. He weakly fell back feeling blood seep from his mouth.

"hmm this is pretty sturdy" she said calmly examining the camera that was still intact despite the force of her hit.

Amos whimpered in pain trying to sit up. Lily narrowed her green eyes and grabbed him by his wounded penis, digging her nails in and eliciting a series of howls of pain from the boy in front of her.

"Now this is what's going to happen, I'm going to tell you to do something and you're going to do it… all right?" she asked sweetly as he stared down at her hand and nodded meekly.

"Now first things first, You're going to take this picture and show it to your disgusting little friends and then your going to get the winnings from your fucking bet and your going to give them to me via owl… all right" she growled clenching her fist around him a little tighter.

He stared at her with wide eyes but nodded nonetheless.

"Good, and after I get all of your winnings… you're never going to approach me or even speak of me again… with anyone, got that?" she said in a low voice. He looked pained but nodded once again.

"If you mention any of this to anyone and I get expelled, rest assure that I will have nothing to lose and I will kill you" she said in a deathly whisper but he heard it loud and clear and was now sweating with panic.

"I'm glad we've come to an agreement, next time think twice about who you're dealing with you little fuck" she snarled digging her nails in once last time before releasing him and walking to the door without even glancing back.

**My apologies to anyone with a penis who read this last scene. **

Lily sighed heavily as she reoriented herself and started heading to the Gryffindor tower. From the silence of the halls she knew that the ball was now over and the students were back in their rooms.

'how long was I in there with that sod?' she thought as she turned another corner and was struck with a sight of James Potter snogging what looked like the seventh year Ravenclaw that was James' original date.

"ew" she said quietly but the sound echoed through the empty corridor interrupting the two that almost seemed attached to the wall.

Widening her eyes slightly when James' disheveled and intense gaze met with her own she bit her tongue as she watched him look her over and take in her appearance.

She averted her gaze clumsily and started walking toward the Gryffindor tower again until she felt a hand on her shoulder.

She stepped out of his touch quickly disliking the way that his touch radiated warmth and tingles and faced him Giving him a full view of her blood-covered face and clothes.

"What happened, why are you full of blood?" he asked as he burrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

Lily glanced past him to see his latest tryst disheveled and looking at them in bewilderment.

Biting down the usual bitter jealousy that clenched her heart at the sight of her old crush with another girl, Lily turned her now blank gaze at the boy who was now touching her again.

"Bad Date" she said simply, removing herself form his clutch once more and running toward the Gryffindor tower.

James was about to go after her when he felt someone's hand slip into his own.

"Where are you going?" the Ravenclaw seventh year asked and once again James couldn't remember her name for the life of him.

"uh…" he said gazing down the same corridor that Lily had run off too.

"Come on you promised to spend all night with me" the brunette asked tugging him along with her.

With one more glance down the hall he allowed the girl to lead him off.

* * *

Once Lily entered her dorm she ran towards her trunk and waved her wand to open it. She grabbed her last bottle of whisky and twisted it open.

Taking a long drink she walked across into the bathroom not paying attention to the group of girls that had fallen silent once she entered the room.

She slammed the door behind her and spilled some alcohol on her face and rubbing it furiously.

She was gasping as she stared down at her stained hands and stumbled over to the sink.

She turned on the faucet and scrubbed her hands, wanting to rid herself of the filthy blood of the bastard who chose to fuck around with her.

Picking up her bottle she once again started to drink as she leaned against the wall dripping with blood, water, and alcohol.

**Songs are Yeah yeah yeahs, Date with the Night; Black toungue. I don't own the lyrics. **

**I know its taking forever to get them together but it all goes along with my plot, plus i dont want my story to turn into one of those stories where lily and james hate each other and then two days later they fall in love and change into completely different characters. please be patient ;)**

**Please review!**


End file.
